How to make him need you, bad.
Men. We love them and plenty of them love women. And I know you are dying to know how to make a good man want you
And I don’t mean a low-quality man. I’m talking about getting a man in your life with a good job, who takes you out on dates, has similar values, and is great in bed. Woot woot!
It is more than possible. In fact, if you follow these sneaky secrets, you will have a boyfriend at the exact right time for the both of you.
So…you want to know this privileged information? I’ve had hundreds of male clients from just out of high school to senior citizens. I know what these good men want because— they told me everything.
I’ve gotten their top-secret information over the years. These men have spilled their deepest darkest secrets to me so they could have the right tools to find a good woman. A woman like you.
You can use the same techniques on how to make a man want you:
1. Get out of the boat. Or get into one.
Dating is grueling. A chore. A bore. Some even see it as an affliction. Some women see going to dinner with another man is worse than writing term papers in college the night before it was due. That’s how many women feel.
I’ve heard friends, clients, and seen people online complaining about how terrible dating is today. Swipe left, swipe right, wink, email, text, have another phone call, meet for coffee, (again), and cross your fingers that this date will lead to date number two, and three, then four…until you are sitting under the weeping willow in the front yard with your 2.5 kids.
I know dating is hard, especially with men having so many options. It seems like there is no hope. But with a little change in your mindset, you may notice that it isyou that has way more options than any man.
I know this is true because the men I have worked with have had me write emails for them just trying to get a woman to notice them. Throw them a bone. A Wink. A number. And if he is lucky enough to have an actual date with a real living breathing women who wear a smile with her heels, this is a big deal for a lot of men.
It’s just as bad for men as it is for you. For many of them, it is even worse. They can send out one hundred emails and are lucky to get one in return. There are single relationship-ready men who are also looking. They want a good woman.
There are so many women who don’t understand how to build attraction with a man and end up being more like a man or even worse…like his mother.
When you meet a man you are interested in you to have to have the things that he needs as well. And until you meet the man who has the things you are looking for, and you have the things he is looking for… Well…
I hate to tell you, but you want a boyfriend, love or husband — you need a bigger pool of men and you must date, whether you like it or not.
You might as well try and have some fun while you are at it. And you will need a raft so you don’t sink. And I am that raft. I used to be a whitewater raft guide, so I can tell you that I know what I’m doing when it comes to guiding.
2. Don’t paddle too hard to get a boyfriend.
When you are getting to know a man you don’t want to paddle the raft too hard. Or in other words, you want to learn how to go with the flow and try not rush things. Don’t try to paddle against the current. It never works.
I was in my 20’s and made more than my fair share of mistakes with men and would often try to hard paddle upstream. When I became a river guide and started learning to navigate a river, and I knew that you could not paddle upstream when the current was too strong.
But I still tried even though I knew it would not work. And I bet you have done the same thing. I remember something profound that happened when I was a river rat. I was taking customers down the rapids when I saw something very disturbing.
There was a little deer with white spots trying to get across the river to its mother. It was swimming upstream into the rapidly moving white water. I was in tears was as I supervised the people in the boat to paddle upstream to help this baby deer. What was I thinking I could do?
Get into the rapid and pick up the deer, put it in my boat and get it safely across?
When we feel emotional sometimes, it’s hard to think, rationally.
We could not paddle hard enough to get close, even though we were trying our hardest. My boss started yelling at me to catch up to the group and we had to leave the baby deer behind. If only this little animal would have known to go with the flow of the current, it could have reached its mother and safety so much faster and without so much struggling.
I don’t know what happened to the deer and I never will. I can only hope that it made its way across. And I want you to know, that when you try too hard and paddle into the choppy dating water the wrong way it won’t work out for you either. You can make it more difficult for yourself than it needs to be.
You can learn to go with the flow and not struggle to get to a man.
It will work out much better for you in the long run and it will have you well on your way to finding love. It’s hard to let him do some work because when we get a little attention, our brain lights up the pleasure center in our brain.
Ding ding ding! Someone likes me! I got a text…I better send another one. And five minutes later…I better send another and another and another.
3. Don’t fall into the trap of chasing him more than he is chasing you.
Let him guide the boat and see where he takes it. He might paddle in the same direction you are going. If he doesn’t, you can easily jump into someone else’s boat. There are single men everywhere. The world is teeming with them.
Give a man the same amount of attention that he gives you (and even less if he is very casual).
If a man is actively pursuing you, gladly answer his texts with some flirty fun banter. When a man is interested, you will know it. But some men are much slower than others. They have to assess if you are a good fit for him, and wonder if he is a good fit for you.
If a man is giving you a little bit of attention to keep you on the line, give him much less attention.
If he says things like, “maybe we can meet up next week,” do not keep your entire week open hoping he will set up a date.
Keep your life filled with the things you love to do and let him fit into your life, (that is if you have time). Masculine men don’t mind doing a little work to get something, and before he gets the woman that is right for him, you can bet he is keeping his options open, and so should you.
If a man isn’t connecting with you via phone, text or dates, treat him with and an equal amount of attention. Which is none.
Keep yourself in the dating pool. The dating pool is more like the expansive ocean. It is filled with vast emotional waves, and men for you to meet, that will keep you growing and expanding and getting more clear on what it is that you want.
There is beauty in the waiting. Because there will be even more pleasure when you get the partner you want. So play like you are ready for a boyfriend and are ready for love. Have fun, smile often, keep your heart open and put your magnificent self out there.
By Dina Colada for yourtango
