When we first started dating, I never thought you would take a piece of my heart.
When we were together I wanted time to stand still. I would count the days down until I would see you again. I couldn’t wait for your embrace. I loved your arms wrapped around my body holding me tightly. I loved the way you made me feel.
I thought everything was fine and you felt the same way. But I was wrong. As time progressed and things started to get serious, you started to pull away. The more you pulled away, the more I wanted to move in. Then you decided that right here and right now, this is not what you wanted. That you were not ready for commitment, that you were not ready for forever.
My heart aches to know that you never cared about me the same way I cared about you. I wanted us to work. I wanted to have a future together. I wanted to be a part of your life. But you decided to walk away.
You gave up on the woman who would not have easily given up on you. You walked away from the woman who was aware of your flaws and baggage and accepted you anyway. You walked away from the woman when all she wanted to do was to love you and make you happy. I would have stayed to fight for us, but that would have been a battle I would have lost. I would have been the one left severely bruised and broken because I was willing to fight for you but you did not want to fight for me.
Despite it all, I don’t have any regrets because at least I tried. I tried to hold on but I realized you can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t want to stay. I realized that I was the only one who was invested in this relationship. And while I was planning our future, you were planning your escape.
My heart will heal and one day you will just be a memory from the past.
One day you will realize what a great thing you had. But you were too naive to realize that. You were too blind to see a woman like me only comes knocking at your door once in a lifetime. You walked away thinking you will find someone “better.” One day you’ll learn that you really fucked up by letting me go.
One day you will regret letting me go.
It will not happen today or tomorrow. It may even take weeks, months, or even years for you to realize what you have lost.
You will regret letting me go when you see that the relationships you have with other women don’t compare to what you had with me. How they don’t put in the effort to keep you the way I did. You’ll find yourself longing for the good morning/night texts, the random cute messages I would send you during the day, and the notes I would write you letting you know how much you meant to me. You will see that I was the one always trying to cheer you up and brighten your day in the simplest ways.
You will regret letting me go when the excitement for random hookups wears off. One day you will realize that there’s no one-night stand out there that could compare to the way I made you feel. The way our naked bodies laid next to each other and how we felt each other’s warmth. You will miss how I ran my fingers through your hair and how I would gently caress your face. You will miss the way my hands felt on your body, you will miss my touch and the way how I knew your most sensitive spots. You will miss the peaceful silence that occurred after we had engaged in physical euphoria. You will crave all of these things, and no matter how many new women wake up in your bed, none of them will ever fill the space I left.
You will regret letting me go when you realize that no one will ever look at you the way I did. I saw everything—all the good, bad and the ugly but I still stayed. I still chose you. You will miss the times I would randomly look at you with adoration in my eyes. You will realize that not only did I admire your physical features but I admired all of you.
You will regret letting me go when other women don’t put in the effort. You will realize just how much I effort I poured into the relationship when things got hard. How every time things went wrong, I would try to find ways how to fix it. How much I sacrificed to make things work, while you were taking me for granted.
You will regret letting me go when you realize how rare it is to find a woman like me. You thought it would easy to find someone who could treat you the way I did, love you like the way I did, or would do all the things I did for you. But you were wrong. You will realize that you had something rare when you had me and no matter how many women cross your way, none of them will compare to me.
You will regret letting me go when you realize how I brought the best in you. How I was the one always pushing you to do your best and how I never let you give up. You will miss how you never had to pretend to be someone else because you always felt comfortable around me. You will think back of all our times together and how genuinely happy you felt with me. You will not only end up missing me but you’ll end up missing the person you were when I was with you.
One day it will hit you like a million bricks and you will realize that you made a big mistake by letting me go.
But by the time you realize that you should have never let me go, it will be too late. I will have already moved on. And whether I’m with someone or thriving on my own, best believe that I will be happy either way. I won’t think about you anymore. I won’t look at you the same way I used to. I won’t feel the same way about you. I won’t be looking back. You will be left in my past. I won’t come back to the man who couldn’t appreciate me and everything I had to offer when he had me.
One day you will realize that finding better is nearly impossible. You will forever live with the regret that you let go of one of the best things that could’ve ever happened to you, but you were too immature to hold on to.
One day you will regret letting me go, and you won’t find me anymore.
By Mitzi J Hernandez for ThoughtCatalog