When someone leaves us, against all rationality we miss them. Why do we miss someone who left us? Good riddance, right? But I’ll tell you why: it’s because we’re humans who are built for goodness and for love. These things are naturally and intrinsically within us. You can’t rub it off; there’s no magic potion to make it disappear. We can’t forget, and we can’t unlove.
Our life is filled with a lot of hellos and goodbyes. My first hello came when my little brother was born, which made me a big sister. My first goodbye came when my grandfather passed away and suddenly my Sundays were missing an essential part. Then there are the hellos we make when we enter school and goodbyes from friends we lose touch with. All of these are hard, all of these are bittersweet, and all of them leave us wanting to turn back time.
But the most hurtful goodbyes are the ones when the people closest to our heart say their goodbye and all communication is suddenly cut off — when your family disapproves of you, when someone you trust cheats on you, or when the love of your life walks away and closes the door behind them. Don’t you just want to scream and be angry? But suddenly a big wave of nostalgia and longing overwhelms you, and that’s okay. Feel it and then remember why goodbyes were said. Chances are, you know exactly why it ended, and you know it’s for the best. Sometimes it’s just a hard pill to swallow. Believe me, I know.
Amid the feeling of “I still miss you” and in the midst of “I still feel the space you left,” remember the why and pick yourself up. Missing someone doesn’t mean you haven’t let them go. If you still feel this way against all rationality, it’s because you are human and because you truly loved and cared for them.
Darling, everything takes time; you are on your way to shining brighter, to growing into the empty space and to falling beautifully and deeply in love all over again. And when that happens, you will be stronger and better, and it will be more magical. Trust me.
By Erin Gaw for ThoughtCatalog