An Open Letter To The Friend Who Has Been Through Too Much

To you, my friend.

Dear Bestie,

First off, I want to say how terribly sorry I am that you have had to endure everything that has happened to you. It breaks my heart seeing you sad and knowing that there is nothing I can do to make the hurt go away. I see the amazing person you are and I wonder why you were put through all those heart breaks. I bet you wonder sometimes too. I wish more than anything that I could give you the answers you’re looking for, but I can’t. What I can do, is write.

I know you hate to be pitied so, I’m not going to do that here. Instead, I wanted to write down all the things that I hope you’ll never forget, as someone who has been through one too many heartbreaks…

1. I hope you always know how wonderful you are.

You have repeatedly gone through heartbreak and devastation and yet, you light up the room when you walk in. You never fail to brighten someone’s day and make them laugh. You are the person that I have laughed my hardest with, and I will forever cherish that. You always make sure that everyone is okay, and that doesn’t go unnoticed. You are such a rare soul, never forget that.

2. I hope you know that you’ll never be alone.

A huge part of you broke when you went through what you did. Everyday is a harsh reminder of what you lost, and every day, you surprise me by always being able to find the good in the day, which is a hard quality to pick up after going through such devastation. I’ll be the first to say that I love when you’re happy, but when the tears seep past your grip, know that I will always be here to help you in any way that I can.

3. I hope you know that you are not weak.

You are one of the strongest people I know. I will never, ever see you as weak if you break down or can’t do something because of its familiarity. Cry with me if you have to. Wake me up in the middle of the night if you need someone. You’ll never be seen as weak in my eyes for doing that. I know that everything you’ve been through has been unimaginable, and I hope you are never ashamed of it because it has made you into one of the best souls I know.

4. I hope you know that I will always look out for you.

 I know you don’t want to be pitied, but you’re my best friend and if I can somehow protect you from another heartbreak, you can bet my bottom dollar that I will.

5. I hope you know that I’ll always pay attention.

I pay attention to everything, no matter how big or small it may be. That’s not just because you’ve gone through a lot, but because you’re my best friend. I listen for the things that make you upset or the things that make you happy. If it’s something I can fix or something I can do, I try to make sure that whatever’s needed is there.

6. I hope you know that I am forever grateful for you.

As I watched my hair fall out in clumps knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it, and as listening to the sound of doctors diagnosing me with issue after issue made me numb, I stood not knowing what to do and in that stillness, I always found myself looking to you. You give me the extra strength that I could never find by myself, you make me brave. It’s not just what you’ve been through that gives me the strength, it’s the fact that no matter what happens to me, or what I look like, I can always count on you to still be here. For that, I am forever grateful, and for that, I hope I can give you the same strength and comfort that you give me, to get you through some of your darkest days.

7. I hope you know that you are loved.

You are loved by us so much, as you always will be, but your family is who I’m referring to. I hope you know that nothing is more important than them. They will forever be your calm in the storm. I see the effect it has on you when they aren’t close by. Please know that nothing here can fill the void of missing them. Nothing is more important than taking care of yourself. I know how happy your family makes you, and how loved you feel when you’re with them. So if you need them, go see them.

8. I hope you know you can always use me as an outlet.

You are someone who holds in a lot and you don’t like to talk about your feelings. Which I get, because I am the same way, but when you get sad or stuck in your head, come to me instead of bottling it all inside of yourself. We don’t even have to talk about it. You can even yell at me, I’ll take it, just let me know why at the end. If you’re in a funk, come hang out with me and we can lay in bed and watch a funny movie, or we can go to Red Robin and make fun of your daddy tinder match while we swoon over a soup bowl of ranch. We can even go laser tagging and both be out of breath in the first two minutes. Nothing gets your mind off your problems like pretending you’re extremely fit and not actually gasping for air. Everyone is in need of some bestie time, so whenever you need it, come grab me because I’m always ready to go.

9. Lastly, I hope someday, you can find peace with it all.

 Peace is something that may never happen, but I hope with all my soul that one day, that peace finds you.I love you and I am thankful for you every single day. I hope you’ll never forget these things. What you’ve gone through is so heavy, but you never let it destroy you.

I will forever be by your side through the good and the bad, no matter where our lives will end up in the future. Never question that.

Also, I have one more thing to add. I put it last because it’s the utmost important one. It’s one that, over everything, I need you to believe every day with your core.10.

10.I hope you know, she will always be proud of you.

By Laura Phillips for theodysseyonline