To My Friend Who Really Wasn’t My Friend

You win some, you lose some.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times, why are we still friends?

If someone has yet to tell you, allow me to be the first: you are important. Something I consistently struggle with (and imagine I will continue to in the future) is allowing myself to have toxic friendships. Guess what? You do not have to be friends with people who do not treat you like a person, let alone a friend. You don’t have to be friends with everyone you meet.

It is hard to recognize when a friendship is not at it’s prime. Usually, you do not even see the damage the friendship is doing until after it’s already over. Then by that time, you wonder why you’ve wasted six months on a friendship that wasn’t even worth it.

Unfortunately, it’s super hard to end a friendship, truthfully. We act like it’s so easy, but, in reality, it actually is rather difficult. We don’t want to deal with the awkwardness of admitting there is a problem and that we would rather split ways. Plus, you did start being their friend for a reason. I have found that some friendships just have more bad than good, and because of that, I would rather not deal with the negativity of that friend in turn to only reap a few benefits. It’s hard to “break up” with your friend. By the way, friendship break ups are totally real.

Invest in those who invest in you (my life motto now that I have started college).

Having a friend who isn’t truly your friend is miserable. They are negative, they don’t support you, and they just bring you down. No one needs a “friend” like that. One of the scariest things I have done is weed out bad friends. Now roughly a year later, I could not be more thrilled to have the amazing friends I do have, and to wake up each morning and not feel as if negativity is haunting me.

To the friend who wasn’t my friend:

Thank you. You showed me that there are better friendships out there and that negativity does not have to be a part of my everyday life. I love smiling, but in my time spent with you, I found myself often frowning. Thank you for never asking about my day or how I am doing, for now, I know that those questions are important and lets a person know you care. I ask them every time I see someone now. Thank you for leaving me hanging in times of need and never going out of your way for me, for it showed me that sacrifice and flexibility are key features of honest friendship. Thank you for our good times, because while I often have spoiled memories of you, I know that we were friends for a reason and not all my time was wasted.

By Sarah Kathryn Haley for theodysseyonline