She isn’t necessarily who you think she is. The girl who’s always on her own isn’t a loner. She has no trouble spending time with herself, but she’s also learned the value of building a strong social network for support and strength. She stands tall and proud without a partner because she has a self-made community around her.
The time she’s spent solo has made her into the woman she is today. It’s taught her what she needs and wants out of life. She knows that she has the right to change and evolve as often as necessary without explanation or apology. Life has tested her but she’s come out on the other end better than before.
She’s not stand-offish or shy, though she may be tough to win over at first. She’s on her own for a reason. There are certain standards and ideals she’s simply not willing to compromise just to be in a relationship. Her time alone, spent building a fulfilling and happy life, has made her strong and resilient with a keen sense of self. She is financially independent and she knows how to take care of her own needs, so she is okay with or without someone by her side.
But she’s choosing you.
That’s a big deal. Not only does it mean you’re a pretty special person – kudos – it means she’s making the conscious decision to add you into her already satisfying life. This is not a choice she ever makes lightly, so treat it with the importance it deserves. You’re about to embark on an amazing ride.
It won’t be simple, but damn, it’ll be life changing. She will tease you with her wry humor until you shriek with laughter, then turn around and show you a rare depth of tenderness that you never believed someone capable of giving you. Your time together will shine with adventure and excitement. At the same time, it will be the most stable, loving, honest partnership you’ve ever experienced. She’s too well acquainted with the precious, fleeting essence of time to waste it on anything less than an extraordinary effort.
You’ll inevitably endure struggles, but the difference lies in how she approaches conflict. Never will she ever cut you off, give you the silent treatment, or demonstrate passive-aggressive behavior. She’s spent days, months, perhaps even years sitting with her emotions and learning to understand them. The two of you sit down and work through feelings like adults because she’s in touch with hers and she’s chosen you for your own maturity.
She is everything you never realized you always needed until she was standing right in front of you.
Be prepared to do some work. She accepts nothing less from herself than constant evolution, and she will expect the same from you. Though she is an autonomous human who wants to maintain her independence – and respects yours – she also knows that relationships require mindful upkeep. She has the same goal that you do: a healthy, functional partnership between two humans who are happy separately and exist without co-dependence.
Get excited. She’ll make you exceptionally happy if you let her.
By Amy Horton for thoughtcatalog