Just because I’m a low-maintenance girlfriend who’s chill AF and doesn’t demand lots of things, that doesn’t mean you can just slack off. As my boyfriend, I expect you to at least do these things — otherwise, you risk losing me.
1. BE MY CHEERLEADER.
I’m independent and can take care of myself, but it’s nice to know that you’re there for me, offering full support if I need it. As a couple, we’re supposed to be a team. Don’t leave me out in the cold, feeling like I can’t depend on you when life throws me a curveball because I won’t put up with that. Same goes for being happy for me when things go well. If you’re in competition with me, that’s messed up. I can get that from my rivals and don’t need it in my partner.
2. SHOW AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.
If we’ve been together for many months and you still haven’t said those three words, I’m going to start wondering what’s up. Showing me you love me by doing little things — like remembering I’m allergic to strawberries when choosing a dessert and really listening about my day — is important. However, I also want to hear those words to confirm your actions and make sure we’re on the same page because people show love in different ways.
3. RESPECT ME.
If you don’t show me respect, there’s no way in hell I’m going to stick around. It’s not just how you treat me in front of our friends and strangers, but also how you behave in private. I want you to respect my feelings, opinions and needs instead of just writing them off. You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t respect and who you aren’t respected by, and I won’t be.
4. MAKE ME A PRIORITY.
If you’re dating me then you have to make me a priority. Just because I’m not a drama queen or demanding doesn’t mean that I’m going to be satisfied with being last on your list. You need to make talking to me and seeing me an important part of your life — this shouldn’t be a sacrifice; it should be a pleasure.
5. SEE ME IN YOUR FUTURE PLANS.
If we’ve been dating for a long time, I expect you to see me in your future — otherwise, what’s the point of being together? If you always talk about your future but never care to mention that I’m beside you in the mental picture you have of it, I’m not going to sit around and wait to get dumped.
6. BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS.
I am not the type of girlfriend to want to have a talk about where things are going and like hell will I pressure you to commit or change for me. Actions tell me everything I need to know, so I’m going to be scrutinizing your actions to see what your intentions are. If you give me mixed messages, like by saying you want to be exclusive but then going AWOL for weekends at a time, it’s clear that you’re not that keen on me. I need to know what you want out of this relationship if I’m going to feel secure and happy.
7. HAVE TIME ALONE WITH ME.
Sure, it’s fun to spend time with your friends, but if that’s all we seem to do, it’s going to feel like something’s off. I need to have time with you alone so that we can bond, communicate freely and build our relationship. If you can’t seem to do that, then there’s no point in being together.
8. MEET AND TRY TO LIKE MY PEOPLE
. After a few months of dating, I want you to meet my family and best friends because they’re important parts of my life. I also expect you to make an effort to get to know them and like them because you value what’s important to me. If you can’t make the effort or you don’t want to meet my folks because you say you’re not a family-oriented guy, then clearly you’re not in this for the long-term.
9. BE CHIVALROUS.
When it comes to chivalry, I don’t have crazy expectations. I’m not going to wait for you to open every single door for me throughout our relationship, but I do expect you to treat me with respect and make me feel special. This can be done in small ways, like by giving me your jacket when there’s a rainstorm or helping me carry heavy grocery bags. It’s the little things that say you care and I deserve them.
10. BE CONSISTENT.
Just because I’m chill AF doesn’t mean that you can go for days without texting or calling. That’s BS. I expect you to make contact regularly and not leave me hanging between texts. If you can’t be consistent and keep your word on little things, I won’t be able to trust you on the big things.
11. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
As a low-maintenance girlfriend, I’m not going to be obsessing over my appearance, but I still aim to look good. It’s about self-respect and I expect you to do the same thing. If you’re going to let yourself go, arrive at dates looking like you haven’t brushed your hair in weeks, I’m going to lose interest fast. I want someone who makes the effort to take care of himself because he values me and doesn’t want to lose me.
By Giulia Simolo for Bolde