There’s nothing worse than wanting to move forward in your relationship but feeling like the guy you’re dating wants to stay put. The truth is, a man who wants to be serious won’t have to work towards being ready—he’ll make it clear he wants to take that leap of commitment by showing you these 15 signs:
1. He takes responsibility.
He’s man enough to say he’s sorry when he upsets you even if he doesn’t agree with why you’re hurt. When things get crazy at work, he can take responsibility instead of blaming other people. If there’s drama, he faces it instead of trying to act like the victim. This is tied to him being a grown man, and that’s exactly the kind of man you need by your side.
2. He’s cool with you leaving things at his place.
He doesn’t text you half an hour after you left his place to tell you that your earrings are on the bedside table. He invites you to leave your possessions, clothing, and personal hygiene items at his place because he wants to share his space—and life—with you.
3. He embraces relationship milestones.
He doesn’t get weird when you tell him that you love him or remind him that your anniversary’s coming up. He’s the one who’ll show his love and remind you of important milestones because commitment doesn’t scare him.
4. He can get real.
If your boyfriend can talk to you about serious life questions—moving somewhere new together, getting married, how you both feel about having kids—it means he’s thinking about those issues with you in his life. It’s a good sign that he’s ready to face the future.
5. He confides in you.
If he’s talking to you about his problems and feelings instead of running to his friends to grab a beer and drown his issues in booze, he’s mature and sees you as his confidante as well as his life partner. He’s taking a journey with you instead of expecting you to tag along for his solo adventure.
6. He’s used his baggage to grow.
He’s got some relationship baggage and issues—who doesn’t?—but they don’t interfere in your relationship. For instance, if you have an argument, he doesn’t compare what you’re saying to what his ex said and he won’t expect you to hurt him the way he’s been hurt in the past. He’s learned huge lessons in love and they’ve made him stronger and wiser. That’s what makes him ready to settle down.
7. He’s an open book.
This doesn’t mean he’s boring. Hell no. It means that he’s not trying to be mysterious as a way to play games or keep you at a distance. He’s open and honest with you about his quirks, habits, pet hates and more. It’s part of moving towards greater intimacy.
8. He’s got big plans.
He’s focused on the future with you and he’s taking huge steps to achieve your mutual goals, such as by buying a home or getting a pet together. Any decisions he’s keen to make that he includes you in and point to a life you’ll be sharing together mean he’s ready to settle down.
9. His friends are taken.
He can think for himself, sure, but if he’s hanging out with single guys who hate the idea of marriage and want to mess around as much as possible, it could have an influence on where he’s at. Birds of a feather flock together, after all! On the other hand, if his friends are taking big steps in their relationships, getting married and thinking about the future, then they could be a reflection of where he is at this point in his life.
10. He’s not a party boy anymore.
A guy who’s keen on partying hard, getting drunk, and living like a single guy will soon find himself single. On the other hand, if your boyfriend wants more out of life than waking up with a hangover from hell and finding himself locked out of his apartment, he’s grown up and ready for a relationship that’s serious and real.
11. He’s family-oriented.
He doesn’t have to bond with his family every weekend, but it’s a good sign if he places them on his list of priorities. How he treats his loved ones can tell you a lot about how he’s going to treat his future wife. Then there are your loved ones. If he enjoys spending some time with them, it’s a good sign he’s making a real investment in your relationship.
12. He knows who he is.
He has a clear idea of the type of person he is: what he wants, where he sees himself going in future, and what makes him happy. This is important because if he knows himself and what he wants, he’ll be a good communicator and won’t give you mixed messages about your relationship destination.
13. He puts your needs ahead of his.
He’s not a selfish guy. He wants to make you happy more than he wants to win a fight or get what he wants. If he can put your needs ahead of his own, it’s a sign he really loves you and is committed to making a real relationship work. He’s also not just in the relationship when it’s convenient for him.
14. He sees settling down as a good thing.
What are his views about marriage and settling down? Does he think the ideas are so old-fashioned they need to die? Or does he think settling down doesn’t have to be a scary or boring idea? Rather, it’s about choosing someone to spend your exciting and interesting life with? If he’s all about the latter, he’s a keeper.
15. He doesn’t run from trouble.
When you hit some relationship obstacles, he doesn’t run for the hills. He stays and fights because he has something valuable to fight for and he’s so committed, he can’t imagine a life without you. If that’s the case, settling down isn’t about settling at all – it’s about choosing you every day for the rest of his life. Yes!
By Giulia Simolo for Bolde