Confidence is kind of tricky sometimes.
It’s takes a bit of time to build.
It takes learning to love yourself for everyone who didn’t. It comes in being your own best friend when someone didn’t rise to the occasion.
It comes in having your own back and looking out for yourself which you learn isn’t selfish but what you need to do if you want a healthy life and healthy relationships.
When you’re confident you finally learn to let go of toxic people who do nothing but add drama and problems in your life. You let them go with the not explanation because you don’t owe them one.
When you’re confident you ignore the people who aren’t pushing you to the next level. You learn the meaning of quality over quantity and live by that.
When you’re confident you stop letting other people affect your emotions. You know your emotions are within your control and anyone who is trying to make you feel bad about anything isn’t worth it.
When you’re confident your strengths speak louder than your insecurities because the things you might be insecure about no one actually knows.
When you’re confident you finally have a healthy relationship. Because the foundation of any relationship you have is a good one you have with yourself. You don’t tolerate mistreatment or games. You just stop associating with anyone who still is about that. You focus on the person who wants to focus on you.
When you’re confident you simply say no and don’t even explain why.
When you’re confident you no longer feel FOMO. You do things for yourself and don’t even care about what everyone else is up to.
When you’re confident you make choices that benefit your happiness and not someone else’s. You aren’t thinking about anyone but yourself and that’s okay.
When you’re confident you don’t show up to things you don’t want to go to.
When you’re confident you DGAF about who you cut off. It could be your best friend for years but if all you have in common is the past and not a future you make that step and realize yeah they might have mattered at one point but not anymore.
When you’re confident you don’t care about what people are saying about you. In fact, you don’t even hear anything at all because you aren’t listening to anything that’s negative or bringing you down.
When you’re confident you quit. Quit the job that doesn’t make you happy. Quit the relationships that aren’t going anywhere. Quit the life that makes you feel trapped.
When you are confident you do whatever the hell you want and don’t answer to anyone or have to explain yourself. There’s this freedom you’ll come to be obsessed with when you get to that point.
When you are confident you stop blaming people for things. You learn to take responsibility for your own life and the choices you make. If something isn’t right, it’s up to you to change it. You realize so much of your happiness comes down to the choices you make and what you are willing to do to achieve the life you want.
When you are confident you stop giving yourself to people who aren’t reciprocating what you have to offer. To value yourself means other people will and to be confident means walking away from people you might love and adore but knowing if they don’t feel the same way, you’re better off without them.
Becoming confident both in yourself and the life you lead will change everything. You won’t have bad relationships or drama. You won’t be upset over someone’s actions. Because at the end of the day you can only control yourself. But if you do it right how you treat yourself will reflect how others do.
By Kirsten Corley for ThoughtCatalog