“Almost relationships” are basically defined as a dating grey area, like when you’re seeing someone but you never take the step to become a real couple. Wait, isn’t that the same thing as being single? Here are 14 reasons why “almost relationships” are total BS:
1. “Almost” doesn’t mean anything
Would you go around talking about how you “almost” won a million dollars or “almost” achieved a dream? Probably not because it’s nothing to write home about. If it’s not something that actually happened, it isn’t worth thinking or worrying over.
2. It’s so high school
Remember in high school when hugging or kissing a guy made you feel like you were going to become a couple? A real relationship is based on more than liking someone – it’s about commitment, loyalty, and being exclusive. An “almost relationship” is too immature for that.
3. It gives you the lows without the highs
When you say you’re in an almost relationship, you’re really saying you’re in the phase before a relationship. You’re probably riddled with insecurity about what the guy feels or what your future will be, and if you’ll even have one. You’re basically stuck in this phase. It doesn’t matter if it’s one mile or 20 miles away from a real relationship—it always falls short.
4. It’s basically unrequited love
You get feelings for your almost lover, but they’re not meeting you halfway or putting in real effort to make a relationship work. WTF? You might as well just be loving them from a distance.
5. You have no labels
You could call the guy you’re dating your boyfriend, only you can’t because he’s not. FFS. If you were really in something serious and meaningful, you wouldn’t hesitate to slap a label on it, and neither would he.
6. It’s an excuse
Guys can use the “almost relationship” definition as an excuse to make you think you’re heading to something real and committed, only to keep things as casual as possible in real life. What a load of crap.
7. It’s hope gone haywire
Maybe you feel that calling whatever this is an almost relationship gives you hope that your almost lover will become your boyfriend. It’s like you’re on a stepping stone towards an exclusive relationship. There’s a catch, though. You don’t go from “single” to “almost relationship” to “official relationship.” When someone really likes you, they cut out the “almost” bit.
8. You’re in a relationship with yourself
If you’re in an almost relationship, you’re really just having a relationship on your own. If he’s not stepping up to be with you in a way that matters, what is he really to you? And would you even want him? Don’t fool yourself into thinking your almost relationship means something.
9. “Almost” rarely becomes more
It’s called “almost” for a reason—it’s not quite there. The reality is that it hardly ever becomes more. It’s sort of like how rarely one-night stands become real relationships. You could waste your time thinking you’ll be the exception to the rule, but why live your life in the hope of some tiny chance? You deserve so much more than that.
10. It’s a relationship knockoff
The thing about”almost relationships is that they look and feel like real relationships, or as close to them as possible. You might even be getting relationship perks from them, such as sex and emotional intimacy. The only problem is that when you want to take things further, you hit a dead-end. You realize that the relationship you thought you had was just a fake one.
11. It sidelines commitment
One of the biggest things that sets a real relationship apart from an almost relationship is commitment. You might feel like you and the guy are exclusive, but unless you’ve had The Talk, this isn’t a guarantee. You can’t have The Talk if you’re not even heading anywhere, for goodness’ sake. Can you see how freaking complicated this gets? It’s so unnecessarily stressful.
12. Your almost lover “almost” loves you
That’s really what’s going on. It’s like someone holding a delicious chocolate in front of you and saying, “You can almost eat this.” WTF? Rather go out and find a different man who isn’t afraid to love you wholeheartedly. Why would you settle for anything less, like the fake promise of an almost relationship? Don’t you want a man who can say “I totally love you” instead of “I almost love you”?
13. When you have standards, you won’t stand for it
If you know what you want out of relationships and what you won’t put up with, the almost relationship looks like the biggest joke. You have high standards and want a relationship that meets them. Almost relationships only exist if you lower your standards, and why the hell would you do that?
14. It’s a dating con
Many people don’t want to commit or get serious, so they choose “almost relationships”, thinking they can enjoy them without relationship drama. Yeah right! Living in the grey area of almost relationships is filled with more uncertainty, drama, and anxiety than real relationships. So pointless!
By Giulia Simolo for Bolde