We used to talk all the time, but I barely hear from you anymore. You never reach out to me. You never ask me how I’ve been. It would feel like you’ve dropped off the face of the planet, except I can tell you’re lurking.
I know you’ve been paying attention to me. I know you’ve been interested in my world.
You never talk to me, but you keep tabs on me with snapchat, instagram, and every other social media platform where you follow me. You will like my pictures. You will watch my videos. You do everything aside from talk to me.
It’s like you want me to remember you are there, like you want me to stay stuck on you, but don’t have the energy to do more than the basics. You are putting in minimal effort, but if your goal is to make me miss you, then it’s working.
Every time I see your name appear on my screen, I am tempted to talk to you, but I don’t want to be the one to initiate. I want you to prove you can do more than click a heart button on your phone. I want you to decide to put more effort into our friendship because I did all of the work last time.
It gives me a confidence boost whenever I see your name on a list of likes, but I want more than that. I want you to be there for me in real life. I want you to give me compliments in person, look at me in person, hear about my day in person.
I am sick of being seen from afar. I want to see you up close. I wish you would do more than watch my stories seconds after they are uploaded. I wish you would send the first text. I wish you would start a conversation. I wish you would make more of an appearance in my life.
Maybe I’m looking too deep into meaningless actions. Maybe I should stop overthinking your likes and views because you have probably been bored and had nothing better to do than scroll through social media. But there’s a part of me that’s hoping that isn’t the case.
I want our relationship to exist over more than phones and laptop screens. I don’t want to have to hear about your life by looking at the internet. I don’t want to communicate by swapping likes on selfies or leaving one-word comments.
I want you to have an actual conversation with me. I want you to text me, call me, invite me over. I want you to admit you have been thinking about me and cannot wait to see me again.
It might sound childish, but I hate how you never talk to me, but you keep watching my stories. You keep making me think you are going to reappear in my world soon but it never ends up happening. You keep disappointing me.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog