I’m not doing so well, today. This is one of the days where I won’t be sharing what a great day I had, or how I kicked depression‘s butt, or rave about how productive I was.
Aside from making sure my kids have what they need, I’ve been in bed all day. And today, I don’t have the mental strength to just get up and make it. I need help, on these days, and I usually never seek it. I don’t like to seem needy and I don’t like to admit when I am drowning. But today, that’s what’s happening. I’m drowning in my depression and I just can’t seem to shake it. I am avoiding my wellness tools because I just don’t have the energy. I haven’t felt like eating and I didn’t even make any coffee. I’ll get up soon; do some light housework, muster the energy to wash my dishes and cook dinner later, but that’s about all I can expect from myself. I’m doing the absolute bare minimum and that’s OK.
ou don’t always have to be stronger than your depression. Nobody can be OK every day. It’s just unrealistic. It’s OK to take a day to just really feel it and take the mask off and just accept this is your life sometimes. I call them “reset days” and I haven’t had one in what seems like forever.
This is not a sign of weakness; this is a sign of being strong for too long.
I needed my bed today. I’m not always sunshine and rainbows. I’m doom and gloom, just like my depression. I rarely have these days and I make sure to limit myself to only one, every once in a while.
Tomorrow, I will make wonderful. Tomorrow, I will be positive. Tomorrow, I will shine again. Because today, I just can’t. Today, I am hurting. Today, I am not OK. And that is perfectly fine.