When things end, remember this: there is a purpose, there was love and there will be more. When people leave, there is nothing you can do to make them stay. Your heart whispers, sometimes begs, “come back to me” and you shouldn’t. Instead, think about the feelings that got stirred in your heart, the lessons you learned, and the moments you experienced with the person that left. And what did it leave you? What purpose did they play in your life? or your purpose in theirs? Perhaps they showed you what belonging meant in a place that was lonely in high school, perhaps they showed you what growing up looks like, perhaps they showed you how you’re capable of so much love for another person. Perhaps you helped them become the people they were supposed to be, or maybe you were each other’s happiness in the darkest of times, but now that it’s not so dark anymore, you have to go on your own ways again in order to shine.
When they walk away, all you can do is wish them the happiness they are seeking and that the end of the relationship, the friendship, the moment was all for the best, especially for you because you deserve it too. You deserve that same happiness in a way you have yet to find and feel. So, be brave and let them go. And remember this, she who is brave is free.
For a while you will feel lost and you will feel the hole they left, the space they used to occupy. You will grieve it, then you will feel the need to replace it. Sometimes you do it too early or too rashly. You become afraid that things and time will pass you by. You become afraid that things will be too late and that it will never happen again for you. You become afraid of missing out. Remember this, there will always be things that passes you by but you just have to trust that the right things, the ones meant for you, will find its way no matter what — even when you’re looking for it or not.
And in the end, the last but not the least, there is the love. There was and there will always be love. You had it in the beginning when you celebrated your sweet 16 surrounded by all your friends, it was there when you were sitting comfortably in the couch together and felt safe. It was there in the middle, amidst the happy and the messy. And it was definitely there in the end, when you showed that your love was bigger than holding onto something that no longer works, no longer happy, no longer helping you grow. It will always be there too even as you try to move on. It will, however, change into a different intensity, a different form where it’s sincere care and kindness. But remember this, do not regret the time you shared with someone you lost. Part of who you are was shaped because of them. And we all know, you are a strong and amazing person.
By Erin Gaw for ThoughtCatalog