These walls; that she has managed to build over time is ingrained into her very being. She has a shell that she retreats into whenever she’s caught in a place of discomfort or worry. She never likes to feel vulnerable because in her mind, vulnerability is weakness. A woman like her who is used to always being alone can’t afford to be weak in any aspect. Her deficiencies in the realms of social dependence need to be compensated by absolute strength even during the most difficult times.
There are so many fish in the sea, as the cliche goes; but trust us when we say that there isn’t a fish quite like a strong and independent one who can fend for herself. A girl who has zero dependence on other people will most likely be accustomed to being on her own. It will be difficult to penetrate whatever walls she has put up to protect herself from the ill intentions of others. She knows that there aren’t too many people in the world who have her back, and so she always has to undertake the necessary precautions to defend herself from those who want to harm her. The harsh realities of life haven’t been kind to her but she doesn’t complain. She knows that she’s up to the challenge and she knows she will overcome. Her walls are built tall and high, and it will be difficult for anyone to climb over them or break them down.
It’s part of her personality. These walls; this faГ§ade that she has managed to build over time is ingrained into her very being. She has a shell that she retreats into whenever she’s caught in a place of discomfort or worry. She never likes to feel vulnerable because, in her mind, vulnerability is a weakness. A woman like her who is used to always being alone can’t afford to be weak in any aspect. Her deficiencies in the realms of social dependence need to be compensated by absolute strength even during the most difficult times. Her life belongs to no one but herself.
Her acuity to solitude and self-dependence have made her very strong and reliable. However, with boxing herself in like that, she is also limiting her perspectives on the world and the society that inhabits it. There are just too many complexes in the people for her and they intimidate her. That’s why it can be difficult for her to fall into the dating scene because she likes to be measured in any activity that she chooses to engage in. She doesn’t want to start dating people that she doesn’t understand. However, what she doesn’t know is that she needs to date people in order to better understand what she’s looking for in life and in love. She needs to start opening herself up more if she wants to be able to find the romance that she deserves.
It’s your job to draw her out of her shell, despite her own reluctance. You have to be able to make her feel comfortable with being uncomfortable. Remember that wall that she’s built over the course of her life? You have the difficult job of breaking it down bit by bit without upsetting her. You have to allow her to feel safe enough to let her guard down and be comfortable with you. You have to be calculated and smart with how you approach change when it comes to her. You don’t have to baby her.
She knows how to get things done, remember? She’s done pretty well for herself so far, and she really doesn’t need a prince charming in her life because she’s not a damsel in distress. However, you have to be able to make her feel like it’s okay to ask for help every once in a while. You have to make her realize that she no longer has to deal with the world alone, and that life is always best dealt with when you share it with other people. It may take a long time to penetrate those walls, but you should be comforted in the fact that she’s worth it.
Remember that for the most parts, her life has had space for only herself. It’s not an easy task to ask someone to make space for another person to enter. If you want her to make space for you in her life, you have to be resilient and patient at the same time. Remember that while she’s a strong and independent woman who can fend for herself, she’s also very much afraid. She still has fears like everyone else. Opening her world up to you will mean that she’s opening herself up to new fears and that won’t be easy for her to deal with. If you do manage to penetrate her walls, and she lets you in, she’ll end up feeling vulnerable and fearful. She’ll fear that you won’t take care of her the way she took care of herself. She’s afraid that she’ll get to a level of dependence with you, and you might leave her.
Know that when you do manage to win the heart of a girl like that, you shouldn’t ever let her down. She’ll fall so much harder than everyone else, even though it took her so much longer to open herself up completely.