“Ever since sex became easier to get, love became harder to find.” It’s a common sentiment, and the truth to that statement is so on point. These days, you can go online and find no strings attached sex pretty quickly, but if you’re looking for an actual relationship, well, you’re probably out of luck. I’m pretty sick of meeting guys who have no problem with meeting up with me for a late night hook-up but won’t find or make the time to actually date me. I’m over this stuff and I won’t be participating in the madness. If you can have sex with me but not date me, you’re a POS.
1. DATING ISN’T THAT DIFFICULT.
This may blow some minds, but dating is just spending time having fun with one person — and it leads to sex eventually too! Shocking, I know. A lot of men seem to think that dating is such hard work, and that it’s more effort than it’s worth, which is precisely the problem. We want things without effort, but that’s not how the real world works. If you’re too lazy and “busy” to date, how do you find the time and the energy to have sex? The answer is simple — you’re acting like a self-entitled jerk.
2. YOU NEED TO BE WORTH SLEEPING WITH.
It’s been an unfair double standard for decades that a woman who sleeps with someone without knowing them well enough, or too soon, is promiscuous — but it’s time we flipped that table. If you think you can have sex with me without getting to know the amazing person I am and without spending time with me, you’re the real sleaze in the equation.
3. I WON’T BE FOOLED BY YOUR FAKE CHARM.
Your faux boyfriend behaviors won’t work on me — I’m wise to your games. I don’t care how many times you call me beautiful or compliment my intelligence. You can run your game on me all you want but if you’re not making the time to properly date me, I won’t be making time for you, period.
4. I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS CRAP.
Do I look like the type that will just get on my knees and give you what you want without you so much as lifting a finger? Screw that. I’m an amazing person with a lot more to offer than my body for your temporary enjoyment. Go back to the drawing board.
5. YOU’RE A LAZY GUY.
I don’t care how busy you are or how much you need to get laid. The laziness of men these days is seriously gross. With me, you won’t be having your cake and eating it too — it’s my cake and I’d rather eat alone than share it with a lazy twit.
6. ORGASMS ARE TEMPORARY, LOVE IS FOREVER.
Sex used to mean something back in the day and even though I accept that sex isn’t as pure and emotional as it used to be, it’s no excuse to think you can just skip dating and proper manners altogether just to get right to the point. Sex is what I have with someone who I’m forming or have a relationship with. If you don’t do any work, don’t expect to get any perks.
7. I’M NOT INTERESTED, SO STOP ASKING.
The late night phone calls, the penis pics as your national text flag of “I want to have sex” and the Netflix and chill card are annoying as hell. Please excuse me while I yawn myself to death as I continue to decline yet another players offer.
8. AREN’T YOU BORED OF THIS LIFESTYLE YET?
While sex is an amazing experience, it’s infinitely better with someone you care about. Sewing your wild oats is one thing, but so many men have turned this mentality into a complete lifestyle that never seems to end – and even well into their 30s. You’re not “living the dream” and you’re only impressive to your fellow frat boys who also haven’t grown up. The rest of the adults are behaving as such — grow up and join us.
9. IF YOU HAVE TIME TO HAVE SEX, YOU HAVE TIME TO DATE.
If you have time to carve out of your “busy” schedule to make a late night visit, you can also adjust yourself accordingly to fit me in for real time in getting to know me. If you don’t have the time to spend on earning the spot next to me in my bed, there won’t be a spot for you in my life. Ever. You’re a real jerk if you think you can have sex with me but not date me.
By Andrea Wesley for Bolde