I’m confident you’re out there. I really can feel it. I can’t explain the feelings but sometimes I even feel like I’m about to talk to you (in my head) or about to run into you. I quietly say, ‘I miss you,’ so many times just to let you know how I’m feeling. I know it sounds weird because I don’t even know your name or what you look like. But I know you’re out there. I know one day (hopefully sooner than later) we will meet. That’s how intense I feel your presence.
However, as much as I’m very excited to meet you, I’m not quite prepared on what my first words to you would be. But just thinking about the moment gives me goosebumps. You already have quite an impact on me and give me some butterflies.
You see, I’ve been on a lot of first dates. I was even in a few ‘almost’ relationships. All ended in disappointments and heartbreak. I told myself to give up so many times. But the hope of finding you always won. So, I kept going on those dates and meeting people. I’m grateful for all those experiences. Because of those moments, after all these years, I finally ‘found’ myself. I really did. I’m still not perfect but I’m so happy with my imperfections. It’s been quite a long journey but I’m here now, where I’m 100% content and happy with myself, by myself. I’m truly enjoying this journey…the path to get to know my wants, needs, and desires, in addition to what I need to change and what I’m willing to compromise. I definitely have a lot of things to share with you when we meet.
But right now I’m resting… from love. I’ve reached a point where I no longer want to search for you. I have to admit that I’m tired. And I do have other things in life that I need to focus on. Don’t get upset..it’s not because you’re not important. Quite the opposite. You’re very important to me. But I’ve learned that love is like a butterfly. The more I chase, the more it gets away from me. I don’t want to push you away (unintentionally). Trust me, it’s not easy for me to sit still and wait for you. I’m a very get-stuff-done kind of women.
But I want to do an experiment. I want to approach love differently. I want to test my patience. So, I’ve decided to just wait…patiently.
While I’m waiting, I’ll be working on other areas of my life. I’m enriching my body and soul. I’m learning and exploring new things. I’m going through some ups and downs like anyone else. What I’m going through is shaping me to be the best person for you…for us.
So, come find me when you’re ready. I’m sure you’re also going through the same thing. You’re as frustrated as I am. But I’ll be right here for you….to show you that the best comes to those who wait. And when you find me, I’ll be ready for your arrival. I’ll be ready to embrace your presence, your stories, your quirks, all of those life experiences that make you you.
I really can’t wait to meet you.
By Nui Kara for ThoughtCatalog