It doesn’t matter whether you were officially in a relationship with her. The fact that you flirted with her was enough. The fact that you gave her attention was enough.
The second that you smiled at her, it was all over. She was locked on you. Attached to the idea of you.
It’s not because she’s shallow. She didn’t get attached, because of the intensity of your eyes and the stubble framing your jaw. She got attached, because you made her feel like someone — when she usually feels like no one.
She got attached, because she saw something in you. A flicker of faith. A future.
Even though she’s damaged, she still has so much hope. She hates people, because she knows what they can do, the pain that they’re capable of inflicting — but she still believes in people. She believes in their potential. In their truth. In the idea that one day she’ll find someone that will provide her with friendship and affection.
And she has hope that you’re that person.
She has hope that the boy that held the door open for her and texted her good morning really is a gentleman, and isn’t just playing nice to get into her pants. She has hope that almost relationships and friends with benefits will remain in her past. That you will hand her something she’s never experienced before — true love.
You shouldn’t be scared off, because she loves hard and fast. You should appreciate her willingness to jump into a relationship, even though there’s a chance she’ll hit the ground. Even though she could end up with another broken heart to add to her ribcage.
Don’t hate that she gets attached easily, even though she does. She doesn’t want to fall for someone new the second they lock eyes. She doesn’t want to imagine a future when there’s barely even a present. She doesn’t want to become clingy before becoming close.
But she can’t help it. It’s the way that she is.
She gets attached easily, because she’s starved for attention. She loves the feeling of being touched. Hands brushing through her hair. Fingers tracing over the curves of her back. Palms squeezing tightly together. Forehead kisses and hugs from behind and feather-light arm brushes.
She wants intimacy. She wants attachment. She wants to feel.
She wants to be loved so badly that she sees hope in every set of eyes that lock onto hers. She sees beauty in every boy that could become her boyfriend.
She gets attached easily, because she knows she’s worth it. She knows she’ll eventually find someone that will never disappoint her — never let her go — never make her feel like a fool for loving with the intensity of stars.
By Holly Riordan for Thoughtcatalog