We end our races when we are told there is no destination, no final point. We stop running that race because we know there are other races with proper end points, races that would take us somewhere, put our anxieties and expectations at rest.
In life and in love, keeping up with our relationships works the same way. Being with people comes with a bunch of subconscious wishes that, at first, do not seem so significant but as time passes and we confront ourselves about those wishes, getting an answer becomes necessary.
Life has to have a proper ending; the people we spend our times with have to be significant and the race has to have an ending because without an ending, that race is nothing but an act of foolishness and ignorance.
When, in a relationship, we see no future and the whole things feels like a race without an end point, we pull out. We set off the track because it did not take us anywhere and life is all about going somewhere. There are millions of moods, paths and opportunities lying in the open for us and a thousand other race tracks open so why stick to an inertial relationship where there is either only rest or nothing but uniformity?
To stop running after someone does not mean stop loving them. Love does not work that way; if you do not get from it what you wanted, love does not pull you out of itself. You experience fury and misery but all in the presence of love; love stays.
It stays even when there is nothing else to feel, when you have decided to detach yourself from everything related to a person you dearly loved, to not be angry or sad or anything that shows concern, love stays. It stays deep down in a corner where you try to bury it again and again; it stays there and taps on the windows of your heart to never let you forget its presence completely. Love is a clingy thing.
Why It Ends
The common notion is that we left the race because we did not enjoy it when, actually, it is the race that was not taking us anywhere.
When we love, we want something out of it for ourselves, the simplest example of which is the reciprocal of that love. But when we see nothing like that, or even close to that, we give up and stop running the race because no matter how strong we love, we have to put self-love over everything.
If ending the race means choosing to have a better run for yourself off tracks then do it. Life cannot be stuck on one track especially when it goes nowhere.
We wait; we spend a lot of time waiting for our love to give something in return but it cannot be done forever. We have to put one foot in the front and free ourselves from the shackles of our anxieties for our own good.
And when we do so, we have to be thankful to the person who left us for we are now on a different track that we run alone on and has an end-point i.e. self-satisfaction.
Imagine yourself trying to be perfect for someone, sharing your time and energy with them and spending it on them only to be left on the hook, only to be told that they don’t see it going anywhere. Would you make the right choice and pull yourself out of the huge hindrance that relationship is in the name of love for your own benefit? Would you let it all go for the freedom of your soul? OR would stay in it and let love hold you back only to see yourself being destroyed by something that is not even real and reciprocated?
Whatever choice you make, remember to always put yourself first. Stop running the race if does not give you the satisfaction or winning or even only running it. Stop being the enthusiastic racer and move out because there is nothing more precious than your contentment and happiness.
And when you do, you will know that you may have stopped running, you may have stopped chasing the love that took you nowhere, but you will never really stop loving the chase or the one you chased. You will know that love still resides in you, in that same corner where you tried to bury it. Love will make sure of it and will help you hold no grudges and have no regrets.
Wish the best of luck to the person you stopped chasing. Hope that they get everything in life for which they could reciprocate your love and end everything on a good note because negativity will not help you see better in life.
If you have really stopped the chase, make yourself and him/her believe it. Burn all the ships and swim off to the shore where a new life awaits and everything is anew. Find love there; love that gives you a smoother track and helps you run faster.
By Kaetlyn Summers for RelRules