Stop convincing yourself that you can’t be alone. Stop hurrying your heart that you tend to give yourself to someone after giving you simple romantic gestures. Stop having worries that no one will ever fall for you. Stop chasing that far. Stop being jealous of some couples around you. Stop being bitter during Valentine’s Day. Stop doubting your capability of independence.
Start believing that you can live happily without being in a romantic relationship.
No doubt, having someone who can satisfy your need for intimate affection is really good. It’s a source not just of happiness but also of pride. But please kill the thought that you need it. You can survive without it because all you need is yourself. You suffice. If you find a soulmate, then consider it just a bonus added to your strongly founded life.
It takes an arduous determination for you to achieve that independent happiness. It is meant to be learned until it becomes natural to you. Now first think about this: you can live happily without anyone by enjoying the freedom only singleness can offer. You can focus on your goals, on your own success, on your personal development, and you can enjoy a lot of things without needing approval. You don’t have to limit your time for your friends or your family. You can relish the whole day or week doing what you love the most.
Start believing that you can learn the most about life without being in a romantic relationship.
If you are in a relationship you are often preoccupied by your partner and the relationship itself. You focus on learning how to work it out and maintain a good one instead of learning about every single thing you encounter in your daily life. You miss a lot of happenings that you could appreciate as an individual. Whereas in being single, you get to observe the world intelligently and purely as your perspective remain untainted—it’s only yours, based solely on how you want to see and take it. You motivate yourself to make extraordinary events out of the mundane because you know that it’s not just the love aspect that adds flavor to your days. And most importantly, you learn how to handle things alone without the need to lean on somebody else. It’s like swimming, you learn the right way to move your body—your body alone—just to be able to float and then soon learn to go against the flow. It’s only you who can help yourself in the end.
Start believing that you could have the best relationship after you have learned to be independent and completed yourself.
Your standards will be high because you know you’ve had a lot of experiences from which you gained enough wisdom and strength. And those are the things you would never want to waste on the wrong person. Your time being alone will have taught you how to choose wisely by the time you meet every person willing to enter your life. And yes, you may still fail, but that failure would hurt less because you know you just lost the person and not yourself. You could only imagine how good it is to finally be in a relationship after you have spent enough time for yourself.
If you are in a relationship, then I am happy for you. I just hope that whatever happens, you do not lose yourself. But if you are still single, then the happier I am for you, you still have a lot of time to hone yourself and enjoy the world independently.
By Karla Crisostomo for ThoughtCatalog