Single girls might not have anyone to celebrate Valentine’s Day alongside, but they will get to drink wine with their best friends and snack on chocolate they bought with their hard-earned money because they are independent enough to take care of themselves. They will find a way to have fun without a relationship because they realize romantic love is not the only kind of love. Their friends love them. Their dogs love them. And, damn it, they love themselves.
Meanwhile, girls in toxic relationships are either sulking around on Valentine’s Day because their boyfriends forget to get them a present — or they are boasting about their present, using it as a reason to justify staying with a boyfriend who treats them terribly on every other day of the year.
Single girls might not have hand-holding pictures to post across social media, but they have plenty of other options. They can post about travels with their friends. They can post about margaritas and book covers and promotions. They aren’t defined by the fact they are single because they have so many other great things going on in their lives. They have a career. They have hobbies. They have passions.
Meanwhile, girls in toxic relationships have a hard time thinking of anything except their relationships. They lose friends because their boyfriends are controlling. They lose passion because their boyfriends zap all their energy. They fake smiles to act like they are fine. They play pretend. They fool themselves into thinking this is love when really this is not okay.
Single girls might not have anyone to fall asleep alongside but they get their beauty sleep. They have the bed all to themselves. They have room to move around. They have time to relax, to think, to reflect. They can fall asleep watching their favorite movies, listening to their favorite music, or texting supportive friends who are always in their corner.
Meanwhile, girls in toxic relationships have a hard time falling asleep. They replay fights in their heads. They toss and turn while wondering if staying is the right move. They wonder what tomorrow will bring — whether the love of their life will be in a good mood, whether he will act like the man she fell for in the first place, or whether he will take a turn for the worst and lie and cheat and make her miserable again.
Girls in relationships are not always happy. Single girls are not always unhappy. Relationship status has no correlation with mood. There are single girls who are having the time of their lives and there are girls in relationships who are struggling to make it through the day.
Even though it’s hard to leave someone who you care about deeply, do not be the girl in a toxic relationship. Do not be the girl who accepts less than she deserves. Do not be the girl who chooses to stay with a boy because of a long history or a complex set of feelings for him. You deserve better. You deserve to be a single girl.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog