Your ex made you feel anxious, worthless, and unloved but you stayed with him for too long anyway, partially because you dreaded re-entering the dating world and partially because you worried you’d never find better. You accepted his half-assed attempt to love you because you thought it was what you deserved. Well, you were wrong—you deserve the best. You deserve someone like this:
1. HE’LL LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING YOUR VOICE EVERY DAY.
Your ex could go an entire day without texting. And forget about calling or hanging out with you on the regular—if you saw him twice a week, you felt lucky. I’m not saying the right guy will spend time with you every single day—people are busy and sometimes schedules don’t align. However, the right guy will WANT to see and talk to you every single day. That’s the difference.
2. HE’LL LOVE THE WAY YOU FIGHT.
Fights are inevitable, even if you’re in a relationship with the right guy. What’s important is the WAY you fight. Trust me when I say that you want to love the way your boyfriend fights, even if you don’t love fighting with him and vice versa. Dating someone who goes quiet when they’re upset with you isn’t fun. You want someone who can talk to you about what’s bothering them without cussing you out or ghosting you altogether.
3. HE WON’T BE AFRAID TO OPEN UP.
There are usually two reasons why people don’t open up: they’re afraid or they just don’t care enough to do so. The right guy will want to let down his guard and let you in. He won’t be afraid to express his feelings because he’ll know you won’t judge him or reject him; he’ll be comfortable with you, and that’ll be a great thing.
4. HE’LL CONSTANTLY BRING UP THE FUTURE.
The idea of being with one person for the rest of his life won’t freak him out—not if he’s the right guy for you. Sure, he might not be ready to propose and get married in a year, but he’ll be ready to start planning a future with you in some way, shape, or form.
5. HE’LL LOVE THE WAY YOU LAUGH.
Did your ex find your laugh annoying? Did he roll your eyes whenever you randomly started laughing about something silly or stupid? The right guy won’t be irritated when you laugh, no matter what it is you’re laughing about. Your smile will make him smile, and your laugh will make him laugh.
6. HE’LL PRIORITIZE YOUR HAPPINESS AS MUCH AS HIS OWN.
If he loves you, he’ll make you a priority. He’ll focus more on making you happy and making sure you have the right kind of support to make your dreams come true. That doesn’t mean he won’t take care of himself because he will—he’ll just make sure you’re taken care of too.
7. HE’LL TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU REGULARLY.
Your ex was never super upfront with his feelings. He might’ve told you he loved you once after he’d been drinking…which doesn’t count at all. The right guy will express his feelings to you all the time, and with more than just his words. He’ll show you and you’ll feel it without any doubt or reservation.
8. HE’LL WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU.
There’s a difference between hearing what someone says and actually listening. The right guy will listen to you—he won’t just hear the words that come out of your mouth and then randomly nod in accordance as if he’s really paying attention. He’ll actually be engaged and offer input in the conversation, and not just because he wants to trick you into taking your clothes off. He’ll listen to you because he cares.
9. HE’LL WANT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE.
Your life doesn’t just include you; it includes your family, your friends, and your dog (or cat). The right guy will want to be a part of every aspect of your life. He’ll want to get to know your friends, spend time with your family, and make friends with your dog. Why? Because he’ll know how important they are to you, which means they’ll be important to him too.
10. HE’LL VALUE YOU FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
He’ll be attracted to you because you’re smart, funny, and selfless—oh, and beautiful. I’m not going to lie, looks are important and in order to be with someone you have to be physically attracted to them. Still, your looks won’t be the main reason he’s with you—they’ll just be a bonus.
11. HE’LL RELY ON YOUR OPINION THE MOST.
He has his own friends and family, but you’re the one he’ll want to go to when he needs advice on something. He’ll trust you and your opinion the most because he’ll know how much you care about him and how much you want him to succeed. The right guy will be the right guy not just because he loves you but because you love him fully and completely.