You’re happy. Genuinely happy after what feels like ages. And you’re finally getting the stability you’ve been craving for absolutely ages. You’re finally beginning to get the things you need from your life and everything feels blissful after a very, very long time. But for some reason, you simply cannot shake the feeling that you don’t deserve it. There is a little voice inside you that just keeps saying “Nah, this new job, this new house, this new life, this is all going to go wrong soon. Just wait.”
Fear of happiness is actually a very real fear. It strikes those of us who have always found ourselves exuberant until “the other shoe fell” and suddenly everything we thought would be there for us was suddenly gone, without warning. Fear of happiness affects perfectionists, workaholics, longterm abuse survivors for a range of different reasons, but all of us at some point have stopped and wondered, “Do I deserve being this happy? Is this going to be taken away from me soon?”
Psychologically this comes from doubting one’s self worth. It’s the idea of “deserve”. We hear so much that the world is an unfair place that we begin to think that any happiness we receive is undeserved and therefore are suspicious when we fall into a good place, a sound routine and a strong support system in our lives.
I want you to know this. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
Yes, the world is an unfair place. Yes, things won’t last making you as happy as you are right now in this moment. However, living in fear of this happiness and believing you don’t deserve it is a self fulfilling prophecy. You have struggled through a lot in your life. You have suffered and been in pain. And you didn’t deserve all the sadness you have been through. The happiness you have found right now does not even compare to the amount of heartache you have been through, this is why you deserve happiness.
I hope you find ten times the happiness you have right now. I hope you find so much happiness that you don’t even know what to do with it. I hope you find joy wherever you go.
By Nikita Gill for ThoughtCatalog