So yes, for now, it’s okay to be heartbroken and disappointed.
Some things just aren’t meant to be and you’re going to have to accept day, dear lady. He isn’t the right guy for you and that’s okay. If things were really meant to go the way that you wanted them to go, then you wouldn’t be in the position that you are in now. You wouldn’t have to be forced to walk away from it all. You wouldn’t have to be bearing the heavy feelings in your heart at this moment. You wouldn’t have to be thinking about saying your goodbyes to one another.
You are just going to have to come to terms with the fact that the idea of forever just isn’t in the cards for the both of you. You are just going to have to accept that fate and destiny have lost its luster. You are going to have to confide in the truth that the universe has other plans for you and it doesn’t involve you staying together. This man is not your future. Think of him as a temporary stop on your journey towards your real love. He is but a mere footnote in the novel of your romantic novel. He isn’t going to end up being your whole story.
He may have been an important part of your past, and it may feel like he is an important part of your present. And that’s fine. That doesn’t automatically entitle him to a significant spot in your future. He doesn’t get to control your life anymore just because he used to be able to. Just because he used to mean the world to you in the past doesn’t mean that he gets to be your entire world in the future. That’s the essence of being able to move on.
The fact of the matter is that he just hasn’t earned a spot in your life. He hasn’t earned the right to be a part of your future. He didn’t put in the work that was necessary to secure a place in your heart. You have a loving, kind, and genuine heart that was willing to give him all of the love that you could possibly give. But he didn’t even live up to being the person who is deserving of such love. He never loved you the way that you needed to be loved. He didn’t have the courage to put himself out there for you the way that you did for him.
It was evident that you gave him as much as you could possibly give. You faced all of your fears and you let yourself become vulnerable. You faced all of your insecurities and you decided that he was worth all of the risk. But in the end, he wasn’t worth it at all. He never mustered up the kind of bravery that you mustered up for him. As much as you wanted him to step up to the plate, he never did. He never made the choice to do what you needed him to do. He never became the man that you needed him to be even though you really believed he would.
You were dead set on the idea of him becoming that one person who could flip your life upside down. You were so invested in the thought of you spending the rest of your lives together. You envisioned him being the man who would guide you unto the right path to love and happiness. You really thought that he was the guy you could feel at peace with. You thought that you could eventually find a home in his heart. You believed all of these things about him, but he never did end up doing or becoming any of those things for you.
But that’s just the thing. Early on, the signs were there. But it seems like you were blinded by your love and your idealism. He really was never going to do or become any of those things for you. He was never willing to. It didn’t matter how much you prayed for it to happen. He didn’t want to become the person that you idealized in your head. He was never willing to give his entire heart to you even though you laid it all out on the table for him. He was never going to push all of his chips in for you. He knew that you weren’t a risk that he was willing to take even though you pulled out all of the stops for him. He was never going to become the guy who would kiss you in the way that would make you forget about all of your troubles.
So yes, for now, it’s okay to be heartbroken and disappointed. But remember that you aren’t the loser in this situation. It’s not your loss. You still have control of your life. And what you need to do right now is to pick yourself up and walk away. Even if it hurts.
By A for RelationshipRules