Healing is a process. Something doesn’t just end and you accept it.
Healing is a process. It’s takes you understanding why something didn’t work out. It takes learning that some people just aren’t meant for you.
In your head that’s easy. You can say it over and over again but when your heart is conflicted, logic and what makes sense doesn’t seem to anymore.
Tore between what you know is right and what you want to be right you’re stuck in this limbo of wanting to move back to a time when things were different. Where the possibility of a future seemed real. Suddenly you realize any next steps towards the future are ones you’re taking alone. So you stand still not knowing where to go.
That’s healing.
Healing is a process. It’s loving someone but loving them enough to let them be. Even when you don’t want to.
Then acceptance comes. With the things you can’t change, you’re forced to move on.
Maybe you’ve noticed her pull away a bit. Maybe you don’t talk like you used to. Maybe she doesn’t blowup your newsfeed nor do you do the same. Maybe you know she’s hurting.
Desesperately trying to fix herself. Find herself. Heal.
Maybe she’s growing distant because she’s trying to heal.
And as much as she’d love to talk to you or tell you things, she’s gotta put her phone down.
She reminds herself, “if he wanted to be with me he would be.”
“If he wanted to talk to me he would.”
Maybe you don’t realize she’s trying to distance herself.
But when you do realize it and when you start to miss her too…stop.
Don’t make it harder for her than it needs to be.
Don’t ask her how she is. Don’t check in.
Everything about you reminds her of things that couldn’t be.
So when you see her and she doesn’t smile like she used to, when she doesn’t talk to you the way she used to, when she doesn’t look at you the way she used to, it isn’t because she doesn’t care.
The truth is she cares about you more than anyone in her life.
But she can’t keep holding onto something that hurts as bad as it does.
The hardest lesson we will ever learn is when to let go and when to try harder.
She’s growing distant because she needs to because she needs to know what a life is like without you and she hates the idea of it.
There sadness to becoming strangers with someone who knows you better than most. But there’s greater sadness trying to keep someone who isn’t meant for you. And the greatest sadness of all is losing yourself to someone else.
So when she pulls away or doesn’t answer or tries to ignore you, don’t take it personally. Take it as she needs to heal. She deserves to heal.
And while the thought of being over you seems foreign and unfamiliar it will be there she finds herself again.
By Kirsten Corley for thoughtcatalog
