When you love someone, you don’t take everything they give you without returning the favor. You don’t let them bend over backwards for you while you sit there and watch. You don’t accept their kindness without offering any of your own.
When you love someone, you don’t apologize over something you’ve done and then go right back and do the same exact thing the next night. You don’t refuse to change because it’s easier to stay the same. You don’t choose yourself or your bottle of booze or your own self-pity over your relationship.
When you love someone, you don’t shut them out. You don’t stop talking to them. You don’t start coming home later and later. You don’t stop being there. You don’t push and push until there is nothing left for them to do but accept you’ve given up.
When you love someone, you don’t keep making excuses about your shitty behavior instead of taking responsibility for your actions. You don’t blame being drunk or having father issues or being overwhelmed with work. You don’t guilt your person into forgiving you when they have no reason to give you another chance.
When you love someone, you don’t avoid answering their texts. You don’t cancel plans at the last second. You don’t skip out on them because you would rather run away than accept the consequences when things get hard.
When you love someone, you don’t make decisions without taking your person’s feelings into consideration first. You don’t flirt with someone at the bar because no one is going to find out about it anyway. You don’t quit your job or buy a car or make any other life-changing decisions without sitting down and having a discussion first.
When you love someone, you don’t walk away because you think that they are better off without you. You don’t give up instead of giving the relationship another chance. You don’t throw up your hands and say that it’s too late to change.
When you love someone, you stop being selfish. You stop putting yourself first.
When you love someone, you stick it out. You explain yourself. You talk things through. You make things right again.
When you love someone, you stop making excuses about how your last relationship fucked you up or your parents didn’t raise you right. You stop acting like the victim. You stop acting like a fuckup.
When you love someone, you get your shit together. You own up to what you’ve done. You make a promise that you will mature, that you will learn from the past, that you will become a better partner.
When you love someone, you make a change. You go to couple’s therapy. You go to rehab. You actually try. You actually give a shit. You don’t just leave. You don’t just walk away from your family.
When you love someone, you stop acting like a selfish asshole. You stop acting like the universe owes you something. You stop acting like the only person who matters is yourself.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog