Empty. That’s primarily how it feels. It’s empty. It’s completely void of anything.
This is what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you in return. There’s an emptiness there and you are desperate to fill it with something – anything. But you can’t.
It’s like that feeling of wanting to grab a piece of gum for yourself because even though you’re not hungry, you’re still looking for something that you can chew on. It gives your mouth something to do. It gives your mind the sensation that you’re eating something even though in reality, you aren’t doing anything. You try to extract as much satisfaction that you can from the simulation but you just can’t because you now deep down inside that it isn’t real.
Loving someone who doesn’t love you in return is essentially like a hike up a mountain without a peak. You know that you’re putting in so much emotional, physical, and mental devotion into what you’re doing but you also know that you’re doing it all without an end. You know that there’s nothing waiting for you once you get to the peak. You aren’t even sure if the peak exists.
It’s like throwing countless hay-makers at a punching bag that just refuses to hit back – one that refuses to acknowledge your existence and your strength as an individual. Loving someone who doesn’t love you in return will leave you feeling incredibly weak and vulnerable – wherein you start becoming insecure about who you are and you end up questioning the validity of your own emotions.
And the bitter cherry that tops this sad cake of misfortune is the fact that you are never going to extract anything positive from this experience. You will not be able to gain a sense of meaning or fulfilment from loving someone who doesn’t love you in return. The truth is that nothing good can come from this – and even though this experience hurts you to your core, it adds no purpose to your life. It’s a hollow pain that carries no weight but it stings nonetheless.
When you fall in love with someone who just can’t reciprocate those feelings for you isn’t necessarily something that will make you a better person overall. Sure, there might be a few lessons here and there that you can extract from the situation. But these aren’t necessarily lessons that you need to be learning. These aren’t experiences that you need to be putting yourself through.