It’s time to forgive yourself for once accepting less than you deserved. For letting ghosts into your heart; for kissing mouths that were weapons when you thought they were roses.
It’s time to forgive yourself for never being able to love in halves. For giving yourself to someone who did not know what to do with the brevity of your soul, who did not know what to do with the weight of your bones under all of the feeling you held within you.
It’s time to forgive yourself for hoping, for having faith in the softness of love and how it could prevail. It’s time to forgive yourself for trying, for believing so ruthlessly that “I love you” meant “I’ll stay.”
It’s time to forgive yourself for the people who walked away. For the ones who didn’t fight, for the ones who made you feel like you were not worthy of being loved the way you loved others. It’s time to forgive yourself for the way in which you trusted, the way in which you let them leave fingerprints along your spine. It’s time to forgive yourself for unhinging your chest, for letting them leave their memories in your ribcage, for letting them take so much of you.
It’s time. It’s time to forgive yourself for once accepting less than what you deserved. It’s time to understand that you had absolutely no say in how long someone stayed — that you couldn’t have loved them any more, that you couldn’t have bent them into someone who understood the core of you.
Trust me when I say that there is a love out there for you. It is the kind of love that will understand the very language your heart speaks. It won’t fumble with the depth of you, it won’t take you for granted. Out there thrives a love that will rise above anything you have ever felt, a love that will feel as if it was made for you, but you have to be patient. Do not fall back into the arms of those who broke you; do not let your scars convince you that your heart does not hold value. Fight for the kind of love you know you deserve, demand the kind of love that speaks to you; the kind of love that makes you want to be a better person, the kind of love that inspires you, and it will come.
It will come.
By Bianca Sparacino for ThoughtCatalog