Stop trying to figure out what it means when he texts you for ten straight hours and then goes MIA for ten straight days. Stop trying to analyze the one-word texts he sends while he’s wasted. Stop wondering what he means when he says he wants to keep things casual and he isn’t ready for a relationship right now.
He isn’t sending mixed signals by paying attention to you one day and ignoring you the next. He is making his feelings obvious. He doesn’t give a shit about you.
If he actually gave a shit, then you wouldn’t be compulsively checking your phone for messages from him that never come through. You wouldn’t be spending hours crafting the perfect reply because you know he’ll only answer back if you sound a certain way. You wouldn’t be annoyed about how he always finds the time to post on snapchat — and to like your photos on Insta — but doesn’t always have time to talk to you.
If he actually gave a shit, you wouldn’t be this confused. You wouldn’t be sending screenshots to your friends, asking them what they think he meant by a certain joke. You wouldn’t be explaining your situation to them over dinner, because you can’t wrap your finger around how he feels about you and need outside opinions.
If he actually gave a shit, you wouldn’t have to try so hard. You wouldn’t be the one initiating every single conversation and planning every single outing. You wouldn’t feel like you have to be on your best behavior, like you have to look your sexiest and act your flirtiest, in order to impress him. You wouldn’t be doing so much to get so little in return.
If he actually gave a shit, you wouldn’t be going through so many mood swings. You wouldn’t be smiling ear-to-ear one day because he made you feel beautiful — and then fighting back tears inside of your bedroom the next day while you wonder why you aren’t good enough for him.
If he actually gave a shit, you would know, because he would put in effort. He would answer your texts. He would ask you out on dates. He would keep his promises.
He would treat you with respect. He would treat you like a priority.
If he actually gave a shit, there would never be doubt in your mind about how he feels about you. You would never wonder if he is going to leave you for another girl. You would never worry about how long this thing between you is going to last. You would trust him, you would feel comfortable with him.
If he actually gave a shit, then he would make you feel valuable. Attractive. Safe. Secure. Loved. He would make it clear that he isn’t going anywhere. That he is serious about you.
If he actually gave a shit, you would be getting back as much as you’re giving. The love wouldn’t be one-sided like this.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog