I struggled with my self-esteem (or lack thereof) for years, and it’s only lately that I realized I’ve let guys largely define how I used to feel about myself. I’ve been in some crappy relationships and have come across plenty of douchebags over the years, but enough is enough. It took me a while to figure it out, but the problem isn’t that I’m not good enough or that I don’t deserve an amazing guy in my life — it’s that so far, I’ve been mostly dating guys who never truly deserved me. Now I’m the girl who knows exactly what I’m worth and I won’t settle for anything less.
1. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO.
I don’t need to lower my standards or work my way around tolerating terrible behaviors in order to be in a relationship — that’s complete garbage. Sure, I could have someone if I said nothing when a guy wasn’t treating me right or by going for guys who aren’t on my level, but why should I? Life is short and I refuse to put my happiness on the back burner.
2. I’M CONFIDENT IN WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER.
I’ve worked really hard to be who I am. It’s taken a lot of soul searching, braving life on my own and hustling multiple responsibilities at once to become completely independent with no need for anyone else to help keep me afloat. If I’m perfectly capable of handling life on my own, why would I throw it all away just to settle? I know what I have to offer is amazing, and the right guy for me will need to match that in order to have a shot at keeping me forever.
3. I KNOW WHAT MY HEART IS CAPABLE OF GIVING AND I WON’T GIVE IT AWAY FREELY.
The love I have to give is priceless, and I have zero issue with holding on to it for exactly the right person. Being alone for as long as I’ve been has made me look at love in a whole new light. To me, love isn’t something I need to have to make me feel better about myself, nor is it something I’m lacking in my life. I have love for myself and love for the people who are already close to me. The guy I’m waiting for needs to live up to those standards or I won’t even bother.
4. I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE PICKY.
Why shouldn’t I be picky when I’m at the time in my life where the person I choose will likely be the person I spend the rest of my life with? If having a certain criteria makes me foolish, then I’d rather be foolish than to end up miserable a few years down the road. I know what I want and I won’t compromise my needs just to fit into a norm.
5. I WANT FOREVER — NOT JUST UNTIL WE GET BORED.
The love I want in my life is one that I want to last, not one that will fizzle out over time. I’m sizing up the guys I come across for long-term potential, and I’m not going to be reckless just so I don’t have to be alone. By waiting and weeding out those who weren’t right for me, I’ve finally tuned into what I truly want and deserve in a partner.
6. WASTING MY TIME ISN’T AN OPTION.
I’m no longer dating “just for fun” or to fill a void in my life. I have better things to do with my time than to date any guy who falls into my lap just because he’s there and shows interest. My time is valuable and in order for me to step out of my comfort zone and give a guy a chance, he needs to show me why he’s not like the rest I’ve encountered — and that’s rare.
7. I BELIEVE WAITING IS WORTH IT.
I’m strong enough to hold out and enjoy my life until the right guy for me finally makes his entrance. I’d rather wait for the real and true love of my life than to cast someone into the role who comes up short.
8. I’M WORTH IT TOO.
I know I’m someone who’s worth knowing, loving and cherishing forever, and if I have to wait longer to find a guy who sees that too, then so be it. Even if it takes several more years to find what I’m looking for, the feeling will have been worth it knowing the person I’m with is someone who really deserves me — and that’s the guy who will win the best parts of me too. I won’t settle for anything less, and I shouldn’t have to. I know what I’m worth.
By Andrea Wesley for Bolde