Being single might not be easy all the time, but after dealing with so much heartbreak and disappointment, I’ve finally reached a point where I literally DGAF if I have anyone in my life or not. Sure, I could have settled on a guy who was just OK, but I’ve chosen not to for good reason — I’m waiting for The One and I won’t accept anything less.
1. I’VE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK.
I’ve been through more disasters with men than most women will see in a lifetime, and I don’t believe I’ve been put through all of that for no reason. I was meant to be this strong. I truly believe my destination is big and I won’t risk missing out on it.
2. THE PAIN I’VE FELT NEEDS TO BE REALLY WORTH IT.
The emotions I’ve experienced have been dark, muddied and heart-wrenchingly unpleasant and I didn’t fight off all of those demons and heal my wounds just to dive into lukewarm waters. I want to feel hot for and crazy about the right guy and I won’t settle for less — I’m not meant to.
3. I’M GOOD ON MY OWN.
I’ve survived this long on my own and I’m in a place where I’m a boss of my own life without any help. While it would be nice to share the trail I’m blazing with someone else, I won’t open those doors for just anyone. This is my story and I have the luxury of writing in my main character in the blank space that’s still there. He’ll need to be riveting to make it into my book.
4. I’M NOT DESPERATE ANYMORE.
I don’t feel a harsh void in my life anymore in the absence of love. I don’t sit in my apartment bored and alone, itching for attention or for someone to pay me affections — I’m over those phases. To me, love is the happy bonus that will eventually make it’s way into my life, not the fairy tale I’m sitting by the phone waiting for.
5. I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.
I’m strong enough to know that happiness doesn’t come from a partner in life — it comes from within. I decided a long time ago that I needed to be responsible each and every day for putting a smile on my own face. This is going to make me an amazing girlfriend and wife for the right guy when he finally shows up. In the meantime, I’m a delight to myself.
6. I DON’T WANT “GOOD ENOUGH.
”If I wanted someone who was just good enough for me, I would have had him a long time ago. I want someone that I can truly picture myself growing old with and loving with my whole heart for the rest of my days. I don’t want the kind of love that’s one day a memory of the past — I want one that lasts.
7. I DON’T PUT UP WITH BS, AND I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO.
I’ve put up with a lot of crap and eventually, I hit my limit and I no longer deal with losers. I’ll call a guy out for being a loser and I’ll walk away from a situation that doesn’t make me feel respected. If being with someone means I have to be a doormat, I’m sorry, but I’d rather die alone.
8. I WANT THE GUY WHO STANDS OUT.
I’ve been with good guys and even if they didn’t work out, they exist and they stood out above the rest. I shouldn’t have to settle for a loser when I’m stronger and smarter than to settle for less than I deserve. I know what I bring to the table and what my heart is capable of giving, and the right guy for me will bring out me.
9. A BOYFRIEND ISN’T MY END GAME.
To me, love isn’t about having a boyfriend or having someone to cook dinner with. If I’m going to have someone in my life, he needs to be a partner in crime and a best friend that I share every corner of myself with. I’m not looking for a boyfriend — I’m looking for a real mate for life.
10. I’VE GOT TIME.
I might be older than the cliche age for marriage, and I might be further behind than the people I’ve grown up with and are closest to me, but that’s fine by me. I’d rather wait it out, knowing I’m good enough just as I am, to have the right guy for me. It doesn’t matter how old I am when he gets here. I know I’m strong enough to survive the life I’m living and wait for the right guy.
By Andrea Wesley for Bolde