We’ve all been at a point where we feel like nothing is working out in our love lives. While other people are happily coupled, getting engaged, and getting married, you just end up being the awkwardly single one in your group of friends. Or maybe it’s because you just came back from the 15th Tinder date from hell and you’re wondering whether all the single guys in a 20-mile radius are just all douchebags. Whatever the reason may be, we’ve all had that moment when we feel like Cupid has a personal vendetta against us. And, sadly, we can’t vent without sounding like a brat, or sounding desperate. Here are 15 things everyone who’s been unlucky in love wish they could say, but can’t.
1. “SERIOUSLY, WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?”
Whether it’s seeing your ex getting engaged to another girl, or whether it’s just finding out that the girl who’s got no eyebrows just got married, we all wonder this. We can’t help but wonder, “Why not me? Was I just not good enough to get a decent boyfriend?”
2. “I’M HAPPY FOR YOU, BUT I CAN’T BE TOO HAPPY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.”
Great! Your bestie who was your single bud for life just got a boyfriend. You can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. It’s not that you are jealous of her for being with that particular guy. It’s that you’re just jealous that she linked up and you’re still single.
3. “TELL ME TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT GUY TO COME MY WAY AGAIN, I FRIGGIN’ DARE YOU.”
For reasons beyond anyone’s understanding, the first thing that people tell others when having a romantic downturn is that they need to be patient, and love will come their way. Nobody, I repeat, nobody, wants to hear cheap crappy little platitudes that do absolutely nothing but suggest that we’re in the wrong for wanting something totally natural to happen already.
4. “DON’T TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDN’T WANT.”
A staggering amount of people will tell you to change your standards or just tell you to not want a boyfriend. If someone were to tell a painter that they should be an accountant and just forget about painting for a while, everyone would look at them as if they’re crazy. However, telling a girl that she shouldn’t want a boyfriend is totally acceptable for most people in society. In my opinion, that’s messed up.
5. “I DON’T HAVE A CONFIDENCE PROBLEM, SO STOP TELLING ME I DO.”
Telling a person that just has bad luck with guys that it’s because they don’t value themselves is just plain wrong. Besides, some people don’t have self esteem problems until others tell them that they do.
6. “I DON’T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY SINGLE ONE IN THE GROUP.”
Sad but true. It happens. If your friends are cool, they won’t judge.
7. “WHY CAN’T I FIND A GUY WHO’S ACTUALLY GOOD TO ME?”
There’s always going to be at least one moment where a woman will wonder this. This is especially true if you’ve had a long series of bad relationships, or a long series of bad dates. Unfortunately, if you ask anyone this or bemoan this question out loud, most morons will tell you to stop wanting a boyfriend and wait for it to happen, which will lead you to want to say other things on this list.
8. “I’M NOT BITTER. ACTUALLY, WAIT, NO, YES I AM.”
Bitter doesn’t necessarily mean bad, right?
9. “MAYBE I SHOULD CALL UP A PLAYER.”
If you do, I promise I won’t judge. Players have their positives, such as at least providing girls with sex. Just don’t expect them to be relationship material or have more personality than a cardboard box.
10. “MAYBE I SHOULD JUST START STOCKING UP ON CATS.”
A cat is fine, too. Cats have more personality than players, anyway.
11. “MEN SUCK.”
Though it’s not always true, when you’re unlucky in love, men often feel like the enemy.
12. “YOU FRIGGIN’ JERK.”
Whoever made you feel like Cupid’s arch-nemesis is usually the person that you want to say this to. Once again, I won’t judge you on this. He probably deserves it. If it’s multiple parties, they probably deserve it.
13. “YOU THINK THAT SMALL ARGUMENT MEANS YOUR LOVE LIFE SUCKS? HA!”
This line is something you’ll have the urge to say when someone moans and whines about their husband leaving dishes in the sink again. All you can think of is, “At least you have a guy who does the dishes once in a while…”
14. “NO, I DON’T WANT YOU TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE RIGHT NOW. REMEMBER LAST TIME?”
Everyone has that one friend who has the expert matchmaking skills of a turnip. No matter how personable she might be, her idea of “shipping” her friends always manages to turn into a major failure of historic proportions. Needless to say, if you already feel like you’re down on your luck, having her set you up might make that situation even worse.
15. “REALLY, ONLINE DATING? WITH MY LUCK? ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
If your streak is particularly bad, worrying about being the next victim of an online serial killer might be a real fear. After all, with real bad luck, there’s no telling that your next online stranger date won’t be Charles Manson.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart for ThoughtCatalog