If he wants to date you, if he considers you his person, if he cannot wait to get to know you better, then he’s not going to wait until midnight to text you. He’s not going to need alcohol in his system to trigger thoughts of you. He’s not going to have all of his conversations with you from his empty bed, wishing someone — anyone — will fill the other side.
If he wants a serious, stable relationship with you, then you are going to be on his mind from the first moment he wakes up. He is going to struggle to last an hour — hell, maybe even ten minutes — without talking to you. He is going to send a text as early as he can get away with so he gets to spend the entire day talking to you. He will never want your conversations to end. Even if he falls asleep on you one night, he will continue the conversation the next morning. He will not let your banter die.
If he wants to date you, then you are never going to wait long to hear from him. There will be times when you talk less, when he is swamped with work or stuck attending a function where he barely glances at his phone, but he will check in on you soon. He will find the time to pay you attention. He will put in the effort to show he cares about you.
If he wants to date you, you are not going to have to sit around waiting a full week for a text. You are not going to be the only one stuck initiating conversations. He will send as many texts as you send. He will make you feel as appreciated, as valued, as seen as you make him feel.
Texting might seem like a small, meaningless thing, but when it comes to modern dating, it can tell you a lot about someone’s intentions. It can tell you whether you are considered a priority or a backup plan.
If he only comes out at night, if he only texts you when he’s wasted, if he updates his social media every ten minutes but cannot reply to your texts for hours at a time, then he probably doesn’t want to date you. He probably only has a passing interest in you.
Maybe that is enough to keep you satisfied. But if you were secretly hoping for a forever relationship, it shouldn’t be enough. You should expect more. You should hold out for more.
This person might not see you as relationship material, but there are a million other people out there who will think differently. And they will treat you differently. They will treat you the way you deserve instead of tossing you aside until they need you again.
Remember: If he wants to date you, you won’t only hear from him at night. You will wake up to texts from him. Your phone will constantly be pinging with his name.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog