I am slowly learning that having a relationship is not the most important thing in the world.
It’s better to stay single than to be in a relationship that doesn’t stir my heart and make me happier beyond measure. It’s better to have no one to text than to wait hopelessly for a text that never comes. It’s better to enjoy my solitude and fill it up with everything I love than to rely on someone to accompany me.
Trust me, it’s hard for me to reach this realization. It took me years for me to reach this stage where I’m comfortable to be truly by myself. I’ve always identified myself as someone’s girlfriend. I thought that having a relationship would make the hollow part of my heart magically whole. It’s as though I couldn’t stand my own company. I couldn’t sit still with my own thoughts. I couldn’t accept myself for who I am without outside validation.
But if there’s one thing I learned after getting through countless heartbreaks, it is that love cannot by itself make you feel complete. You have to be in a good place yourself to have the emotional capacity to love another. You have to accept yourself first before you’re able to receive love openly. You have to love the person you are so that you would never settle on just anyone else but only the love you deserve.
I am slowly learning that I am enough the way I am and I love and accept myself.
One day when love finds me, I will be ready to share my life with my soulmate. I will tangle my life with theirs and we will build a life together. I will bare all my secrets and get to know them as well as I know myself. I will love them unrestrainedly and give them nothing but the best of me.
But until that day arrives, I won’t sit around and wait for it to happen. I won’t look at the other attached couples and be envious of what they have. I won’t be restricted from living my ideal life because the best time to act is now. I won’t feel sorry for myself that my life is any less fulfilling just because of my single status.
In fact, just the opposite, I will be having the time of my life while working just as hard. I will love myself, heart and soul, more and more each day.
I am slowly learning that being single is the best time for me to find myself.
I will live my life on my own terms. After all, I’m only young once and this is the perfect time for me to chase after my dreams selfishly and do what I love. I will spend all my time getting to know the person I am and truly embracing being comfortable in my own skin. I will be hustling hard at my career and build something that I’m proud of.
I will be learning, evolving, and being myself and frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
By Liane White for ThoughtCatalog