What’s the worst thing that you can be called when dating these days? Definitely “clingy.” Although both genders are guilty of this, guys usually use this term to insult girls and it’s super uncool. You’re not clingy if you want to actually hang out with him and frankly, he’s a jerk for thinking that.
1. HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND RELATIONSHIPS.
Would you call your best friend clingy for living with her boyfriend of five years and therefore seeing him mornings, nights, and weekends? Of course not. If a guy calls you clingy because you suggest spending an afternoon or even just a few hours together, then you can be sure that he has no clue what being in a relationship actually entails. Why would you even want that kind of person as your boyfriend?
2. HE’S TERRIFIED OF GETTING CLOSE TO SOMEONE.
This all stems from a total and complete fear of commitment. Someone who’s truly ready for a commitment and loves the idea of being in love would never, ever freak out like this. He’s proving to you that he just can’t commit. At least you know.
3. HE’S PUTTING HIS INSECURITIES ON YOU.
Anyone who thinks that commitment is a bad idea doesn’t think that they deserve to be loved. Deep down, everyone wants that comfort and love, but not everyone can admit it. This guy is super insecure. Instead of telling you that he’s never had a long-term relationship, he’s going to insult you. So mature.
4. HE’S A WALKING CLICHE.
Does he even realize how ridiculous he sounds for calling you clingy? If he doesn’t get how stereotypical and rude he’s being, then you shouldn’t even be interested in dating him. The right guy would never even dream of talking to you like this. The right guy is going to seem like a genuine, legitimate person, not someone who says such corny, stupid stuff.
5. HE HAS MAJOR ISSUES.
A big part of a relationship is emotional intimacy. You should be able to talk to your partner about how you feel about absolutely anything. A guy who plays the clingy card is definitely afraid of talking about his feelings and honestly, you’re so much better than that.
6. HE’S SEXIST AF.
How would this guy feel if you said that he must love beer and sports, just because he’s a dude? That’s what it’s like when he calls you clingy. Just think of all the other sexist and crude and demeaning things he must think about women.
7. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO CARE ABOUT SOMEONE.
This guy has probably never had a girlfriend in his life. If he has, then he would know that caring about another human being makes you kind and loyal and compassionate, not like cling wrap. How could you ever expect him to care about you?
8. HE’S NEVER GOING TO GET IT.
You totally know that trying to change a guy is never a good idea. That doesn’t mean that this thought doesn’t cross your mind, though, of course. You might think that you can simply tell him that you’re not being clingy and that you really like him so you want to hang out with him more. Guess what? He’s going to laugh, ignore you, call you clingy again, or get mad. You’re not going to get the reaction that you want.
9. HE’S NOT BOYFRIEND MATERIAL.
Even if he’s super cute and super funny and the best kisser under the sun, he’s not going to be a legit BF if he would call you clingy. It’s just not going to happen. Remember that when you wonder where this went wrong.
10. HE’S GOING TO END UP ALONE.
You should tell yourself this whenever you’re feeling sorry for yourself because this is another guy that you have to walk away from (because you know that you can’t help but feel some self-pity, however briefly). He’s never going to be able to have a real relationship if this is the way that he behaves. There are going to be a ton of women who just aren’t going to stand for it, including you.
11. HE’S TOTALLY GASLIGHTING YOU.
Instead of him being a douchebag for saying that you’re clingy, it’s your fault because you’re the one who wanted to spend time with him. You’re the problem, not him. See how that works? He’s gaslighting you and playing a mind game and it’s not cool.
12. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.
Of course there are some people who really are clingy. They jump into relationships and want to see their new partner 24/7. It’s just too much, too soon, and it’s a bit scary. That’s definitely not the way that you’re approaching your own situation. Wanting to see the guy that you’re dating a few times a week is not clingy. It’s just normal. And before you know it, you will definitely find someone who agrees with you.
By Aya Tsintziras for Bolde