There is only so much healing you can do by yourself. You can close your eyes and breathe. You can delete his number, ignore her calls. You can quiet the voice in your head that says you should get back together. You can run until your legs give out.
You can busy yourself with plans and hobbies. You can cry until your eyes are puffy and dry. You can sing in the shower at the top of your lungs, rip the pictures from your walls, unfriend him or her on social media. But at the end of the day, what remains is loosely tied heartstrings, desperate to intertwine—with him, with her, with someone else again. What remains is a mind that speaks unworthiness, a head that throbs with a dull pain. What remains is an emptiness that you believe cannot be filled by anything other than that person’s love.
And when you get to this low point, sometimes it feels like there’s nothing left.
But what you do have, what you’ve always had is your Father’s love. And His love will fill every broken piece, every cracked crevice, every spot of loneliness, or fear, or longing you feel.
Give your broken heart to God. Give the parts that no longer know how to beat wildly. Give the memories that haunt your dreams at night. Give the anxiety, the nervousness you get every time your phone rings. Give the ways you’ve learned to see yourself as less without that person in your life. Give the numbness, the ache. Give every part of you that has lost its way.
Give all of yourself to Him, and watch Him heal you.
You think you have to carry this pain alone. You think you have to walk around with this burden, this heartache labeled to your chest for the world to see. You think you’ll always have to feel broken, bruised, to blame for what happened. You think you’re destined to be alone forever.
But none of that is the truth.
See, your Father takes note of what you’re feeling. He sees the way your heart has shattered, the way your mind has become dizzy with lies. He sees the way you’re longing for something, anything to numb the pain. He sees how you’ve been running in circles, trying to escape.
You’re not alone.
You never have been. Even when you’ve bowed your head in prayer and felt like you were speaking to nothingness, even when you cried and thought that no one could hear, even when you screamed into your pillow wishing for life to not hurt so much—He was reaching out His hand to you. He was reminding you of your worth and of His love for you.
Because your breakup is not meant to define you; who you are in Him is.
Your God loves you so very much. He loves you through your bad decisions; He loves you through the mess you’ve made. He wants you to seek Him, to trust Him, to turn away from sin and let Him in.
Let Him lead you away from this desperation. Let Him guide you to the light.
He wants you to be led by Him, to take refuge in His arms.
He wants to mend you. He wants to remind you of your inherent, Godly worth. He wants to show you that a relationship is not your purpose. He wants you to learn, and feel, and experience so much more.
So let Him hold you in His hand; let Him love you into healing.
By Marisa Donnelly for ThoughtCatalog