Don’t wait for him to contact you. Don’t make excuses for his behavior. Take them at face value and respond to him accordingly. Don’t put your life on hold for him. Don’t let him have power over your self-esteem when he makes little to no effort to be a part of your life. Take the focus back to yourself and understand that it’s not just about him, it’s largely about you and your happiness. And so if he doesn’t satisfy your needs then you must let him go and move on to find someone who will. The moment you start waiting for him, making him and his actions a condition of your happiness, that’s when you will start losing yourself. You will never feel like enough. He will never be able to make you feel enough. So don’t wait for him. Live your life the way you want it.
Don’t wait for him to treat you better. If he doesn’t treat you well now, what are you doing with him? Worse, what are you doing to yourself? I’m not telling you that you deserve to be treated well. It’s not about deserving. It’s about what you want out of life and communicating that to other people. Don’t let anyone think it’s okay to treat you carelessly. Ask to be treated well because you want it and only accept it, and don’t ever settle for less. When a guy refuses to treat you well, don’t bargain with him. Don’t just suffer and hope it will change and blame yourself. You don’t have to be with him, or anyone who doesn’t add value to your life. Draw your boundaries, make decisive decisions, and go find what you want. Feeling good and happy and loved and respected in a relationship should be a non-negotiable matter.
Don’t wait for him to change. Don’t live your life in the future. Your life is now. Your relationship is now. He is who he is now. Make up your mind based on what you know most now. Maybe really he will suddenly change one day and become the man of your dreams. But don’t bet on that. Don’t sacrifice your daily happiness and hang around for a wishful thought that you can’t know for sure will ever come true. Don’t stay and wait. Move forward with your life and let him run the course of his too freely, independently. Give him room and give yourself room. If at some point in time you two evolve into the people that are genuinely happy with each other in the present tense and don’t wish that the other would change somehow, then it’s time to get together. To bet on it. To let each other grow and change. But don’t wait.
Don’t wait for him to choose you. If he doesn’t choose you now, he doesn’t have you now, and he sure doesn’t get to choose you later. It will be your decision of whether you want him. It always is. For now, it’s a simple question: Do you want someone who doesn’t choose you? I hope you don’t. I hope you know your worth and you don’t sell yourself so short that he thinks he doesn’t have to choose you to have you fully, that it’s easy to get you and lose you. I understand that you might like him so much, he might be in a bad place right now, it might take time for him to see you clearly, and by all means, be patient with your life. But don’t commit to him when he doesn’t to you. Don’t hold yourself back and block your path to happiness just because this new path you stumble upon doesn’t involve him. Hope for the best but don’t expect a happy ending with someone who only plans for ending but not happy with you. Don’t wait.
Don’t wait for him.
By Ellen Nguyen for ThoughtCatalog