Instead of forcing yourself to forget that person, free yourself to remember them.
There are two main reasons why we struggle to forget someone:
1. We truly believe they are the one for us.
2. We fear that we will not find anyone better.
However, we should all remember two things: 1) If someone is the right person for us, they will come back into our lives no matter how far away they drift. 2) You will always be able to find someone better—or, rather, someone just as good who won’t forget you.
Feeling forgotten or neglected by someone you care deeply about can be one of the most soul-crushing & excruciating feelings in the world. Instead of forcing yourself to try, in vain, to forget that person, I want you to free yourself to remember them.
Remember them when you are alone at night crying, remember the pain they put you through, remember when you almost lost your breath because of the tears you shed over them, and remember how you had to hide your eyes behind your sunglasses so no one could see them, or see you.
Remember them on your birthday, remember how they are actively choosing not to celebrate another year with you, remember that they are happier celebrating somewhere else, maybe with someone else. Remember that they want to grow old without you.
Remember them when you are lonely, remember how they once promised not to leave you, remember how they could have turned your loneliness around but they left you staring at all four walls as they found someone else to ease their lonely nights.
Remember them when you attend an engagement party or a wedding, remember that instead of being your plus one, they left you minus one. Remember that they convinced you that you were heading in that direction but suddenly decided to make a U-turn and drove away on their own.
Remember them when your family asks about your relationship status, remember how you could have easily avoided that question had they been there to answer it. Remember that they didn’t want to give you an answer or even help you find it.
Remember them when you are having a blast with your friends, remember that this is how they should’ve made you feel, but they decided to be strangers. They decided they’d rather treat you like astranger not a friend.
Remember them when you are smiling because someone appreciates you, remember how they didn’t, and remember how they slowly took that smile away from you. Remember that they chose to make someone else smile instead.
Remember them every time you want to forget them, remember that they are not remembering you, and remember that they want you to forget them.
Remember them when you finally get over them, remember them when you see them and no longer recognize them.
This article was originally published at Thought Catalog.