Yes. It’s difficult. And no. You’re not alone.
Yes. It’s difficult. And no. You’re not alone. You aren’t the only one who is bearing the struggle that you’re going through. You try to look back and see just how maybe you could have done things differently to force a better outcome. You wonder about the many scenarios in your relationship where maybe you could have tried harder. You think about the many words that you said that you wish you could now take back. You desperately try to seek for an answer that you know you’re never going to find.
You wonder about why your efforts just didn’t seem to be enough. You don’t understand just how this person could take you for granted. You wonder why this person just couldn’t grow to see the kind of value that you added to the table. But this is the mistake that you’re making right now. You’re choosing to let this person cripple you into staying where you are right now even when you should be moving on.
Of course. It’s easier said than done. It’s hard to get back to a place of happiness and stability when the person you love most in this world just chooses to get up and leave. You gave a huge chunk of your heart to this person. It’s a perfectly acceptable response for you to feel devastated when they leave you behind to fend for yourself. It doesn’t even matter that you know that this person was bad for you and the relationship was a toxic one. There was a point in the romance where you were heavily invested in one another and you just can’t fathom how you could go from there to where you are now. When you choose to end the relationship, you’re essentially saying that you give up on one another – and as human beings, we are ashamed at the thought of giving up. It’s weak. It’s our stubbornness and our resilience that keeps us from ending a relationship we know to be bad for us.
For the longest time, we’ve always been told that “we deserve better” and that “we don’t have to settle for that kind of partner” in a relationship. But we refuse to listen. Why is that? You already know that you do deserve better. You know that you aren’t being treated the way that you should be treated. You know that you’re not getting the love that you deserve to be getting. But still, you stay in the relationship. You cling to the hope that reality is a lie and that maybe, a real change is going to come. You tell yourself that patience is a virtue and that you can’t walk away from something that has the potential to be something special. You tell yourself that maybe, if you endure the pain just a little bit longer, you will get what you want.
But what you don’t know is that you’re only prolonging the inevitable. Your relationship is going to crumble into pieces and t’s only going to leave you feeling heartbroken. There’s no getting around it. And the longer that you choose to put it off, the harder you’re going to fall; the more that it’s going to hurt for you. You should never really have to force someone to see that you’re worthy and deserving of their love. They should already know that in the first place.
It doesn’t even really matter how long you stay in a relationship with one another. The length of the relationship is irrelevant. It’s about the level of intimacy and the emotional connection that you build with one another. And that can either intensify or lessen over time. But it especially hurts when you build a profound emotional connection with someone, only to have that emotional connection shattered into pieces in the end.
But here’s the thing. As sad as it is, the truth is that some relationships end. And when these relationships end, that’s because these are the wrong relationships for us and there’s no getting around it. We aren’t meant to be with the people who are wrong for us. No amount of effort, love, and commitment would ever be able to make up for the incompatibility of two people. So when you know that someone is wrong for you, you have to be able to let that go.
Because you could never get with the right person if you keep on clinging to the wrong person. If you continue to stay invested in the wrong person, then you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to get with the person who is actually right for you. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t settle for what’s beneath you. Go out and take that plunge. Be brave and walk away. And once you do meet that person who is right for you, you won’t even question why you are where you are anymore. Things just fall into place.