You Used To Be The Reason I Smiled, But Now All You Do Is Make Me Cry

You were always that one person who managed to always find your way back in… and I let you.

Every time we got together I convinced myself that this time will be different, maybe this time you changed your mind, or I could make you change your mind.

But it was always the same scenario, the same ending, the same disappointment, the same heartbreak and the same resentment.

It feels like I was giving you a chance to break my heart again every time.

Even though you are my biggest mistake I will always remember you.

You don’t know how many times I hold the phone wanting to call you but then I put it away, you don’t know how many songs I always wanted to send you and tell you that this is how I feel.

There is something about you, that just gets me. My friends always told me that they don’t understand what I saw in you or why I’m so hung up on you.

I know I see something they don’t see; isn’t that how love supposed to work? But love is also blind.

I still have this image of you in my head that’s just wonderful, that makes me believe there is more to you, that you are much kinder than you act, that beneath this stubborn exterior lies a heart of gold, a beautiful soul, a caring heart and a very loving person.

I tried so many times to dig through your depths, but you wouldn’t even let me scratch the surface.

So I am saying goodbye to you so I can see myself the way I saw you, I’m loving myself the way I loved you, I’m accepting myself the way I accepted you.

But I wish you knew how much you meant to me and how you made me feel. I wish you knew that no matter how broken I was, I was still willing to fix you.

Even though you will always be the one that got away, I am glad now that you got away, you belong there — away from me.

You made me believe in love, you made me believe that I am capable of loving someone with all my heart, you made me realize that I am loyal and that I don’t give up on love that easily.

But the biggest lesson you taught me was how to believe in myself, and love myself enough to walk away from someone who couldn’t give me a little bit of his heart.

You made me understand that life wins sometimes, that no matter how hard you try, some things will never happen, that even when you want something.

You don’t always get what you want. You get what you need.

Au Revoir, to you, to your memories, to your pain, to your heartbreak, to your disappointments, and to your friendship.

 

By resplandecer


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