I don’t mind sending the first text. Making the first move. Initiating the first conversation.
I’m not afraid of reaching out to you to see how you’re doing or to tell you that I miss you — and you should know that, because I’ve done it plenty of times before.
But I’m not going to keep texting you if you keep ignoring me. If you wait six hours, or maybe even a few days, to answer my messages. If you make it clear that talking to me isn’t a priority. That you have better things to do than to answer me back.
I’m sick of waiting for your name to pop up on my screen. I’m sick of wondering what you’re doing instead of talking to me. I’m sick of jumping every time I hear the notification sound, because I have hope that you have finally answered.
If you aren’t going to talk to me, or if you’re going to send one-word answers and let the conversation die as quickly as it started, then I’m not going to bother to text you anymore. I’m not going to take two minutes out of my day to type out the perfect message for you.
There’s no point in contacting you if you are going to stay silent — or if we’re going to go back and forth, saying the same exact things that we said to each other yesterday and the day before that. It’s silly to keep repeating ourselves. It’s boring.
I text you, because I actually want to have a conversation with you. Because I want to be a part of your life. Because I want you to see my name on your screen and smile.
And obviously, none of that has been happening, so I’m giving up.
I’m giving up on joking around with you, on being friends with you, on trying to convince you to feel the same way that I feel.
If you don’t want to talk to me, then I’m not going to chase after you. I’m not going to bother you. I’m not going to send you even one more text.
I’ve messaged you first plenty of times before. I’ve come up with conversation starters plenty of times before. Now it’s your turn. If you want me in your life, then you’re going to have to show me.
But I doubt that is going to happen, because I’ve been the one trying to keep our conversations alive. I should have realized you didn’t care long before this. I should have realized I was fooling myself into thinking you liked me, too.
If you actually cared about me, then you wouldn’t have let this ‘relationship’ become one-sided. You wouldn’t have kept me waiting when I never do the same to you. You wouldn’t have made me this upset.
If you actually cared about me, then you would be able to do something as small as answer my texts. If you can’t even do that, then I can’t waste any more time with you.
By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog