She’ll leave you when she’s finally had enough. She’ll leave the false promises for the hard, acidic truth. She’ll swallow the bitter reality pill rather than another one of your saccharine falsehoods. She’ll leave you when she’s had enough of your candy-coated compliments, handed out as treats to placate her, to make her stay every time she tries to leave.
She’ll leave when she realizes the life that awaits her is more promising than any life you could’ve given her. That any addiction she had to you isn’t worth another hit that might kill her.
She knows that when she leaves you, she has to leave for good. No more tolerating your crocodile tears the next morning, after another night leaving her crying alone. No more cruel “jokes” told at her expense. No more cutting jabs in front of her loved ones. No more harsh insults, no more sabotage, no more of your petty envy making her feel small in the realms where she shines.
No more enduring death by a thousand cuts, just so no one sees the scars.
No more dimming her light. No more tiny betrayals or grand transgressions; no more indiscretions, flirtations or affairs. No more being humiliated, bullied, belittled behind closed doors. No more being abandoned out in the open, ridiculed in public. No more being told she’s not enough, in a million different ways. No more insidious mind games.
She’ll leave you when she knows time is running out. Time to heal, to create a life outside of you. Time to find herself and someone who deserves her.
You always acted like you were on the lookout for something better, but now she wants to reclaim the time she still has left – to do better and to be better, because she knows someone better will come along.
Such valuable time she’s wasted on trying to make you magically morph into a decent human being. Years or months of trying to get you to see that she’s worthy, that she never deserved to be treated like this – all down the drain and “nothing” to show for it – except for her renewed strength.
The loss of her innocence – and her naiveté. The birth of wisdom – of freedom, of independence. The renewal of her identity. Actually, come to think of it, you’re the one with everything to lose. She, in turn, will gain everything.
The thing about women who overthink, overcompensate, overexert their efforts is that they all eventually have an awakening. They all eventually realize what they deserve.
When they finally walk, they walk away for good. They know they did all they could to save the man who never existed in the first place.
When she walks away, trust her when she tells you that you won’t hear from her again. Because all the times she tried to speak, you silenced her or gave her the silent treatment. All those times she tried to get you to have a breakthrough, you broke her down and made her feel like the weak one. All those times you brought in the threat of other women, you taught her how to forget her own irreplaceability.
You tried to make her forget she was magic.
The truth is, she was the powerful one all along. When you beg her to come back, she’ll be planning her comeback – and you’ll never see it coming.
The truth is, when she finally leaves you, you’ll realize it’s not just that she never really knew you.
You never really knew her either and what she was capable of.
You never realized, did you? That she had as much power to go as she used to stay.
But when she leaves, you’ll feel it. Her silence will move worlds. It will speak more volumes and truth than the words that have passed your lips your entire lifetime.
She’ll leave you when she realizes you were never the cure – you were the poison all along.
By Shahida Arabi for ThoughtCatalog