“When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece gets lost—the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed.”
—John Green & David Levithan; Will Grayson, Will Grayson
This is why cheating is one of the reasons why relationships fall apart. It’s because of the betrayal and the unfaithfulness of the person whom you trust your heart into. It’s the thought of them willing to break your heart just for them to feel better even just once.
It’s one perfect example of how temporary things can have a permanent damage to one’s life.
The effect is devastating. Once you betray a trusting person, he or she can never be the same again. You can ruin their chances of finding their true love because of the anxiety and self-doubt that you made them feel. They will constantly question their capabilities and will keep on asking themselves why aren’t they enough when in truth is—they are. Just because others can’t see their worth doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy enough.
And even if you try to make it up to them, even if you try your hardest to change and so on and so forth, things can never be the same. It’s like looking at yourself in a broken mirror—no matter how you think you are whole, your reflection still shows you how broken you are.
Cheating is not just about having sex with someone else other than your partner. It’s not just about the intimacy and emotional connection you share with the others. When you delete a conversation for them not to see it, when you lie about someone you spent your time with, when you start to deny your partners the love and attention you are supposed to give them but give them to someone else instead—you are already there.
I, personally, know some of them. Some do change, some still have the audacity to continue whatever they started and based on what most of them shared to me, here’s what I have observed.
Some do change with the help of the people around them and themselves. Some do change because they do want to—because they have the will to do so. Maybe finally realized what they can lose over what they can get over a temporary self-satisfaction.
However, some just don’t know how thick-faced they are. They still cheat face to face with their partners. These kind of people know what they can take for granted. They know that even if they do it over and over again, they’d still have someone they can run to after they’re done with another. These kind of people are the epitome of cheating. They are the ones who would constantly accuse their partners of cheating when 8.9/10 they are the ones cheating. The ones who can make the most loyal person here on Earth choose to be just single for the rest of their lives. The kind who would make you feel afraid to commit again just because.
I could never understand the reasons why they do it. Is it because their partners let them for they are afraid to lose them? Is it because they don’t know how to resist temptation? Are their partners not enough?
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that cheating can never be truly justified.
No matter what happened to you in the past that made you do it, still it’s not enough reason for you to treat so poorly someone who loved you wholly. Don’t they deserve more loyalty than they should for the love they are giving you?
Tell me how does it feel?
Does it boost your self-esteem?
Does it make you feel more handsome or beautiful?
Does it make you dominant over someone?
Tell me, is it worth it?
When you cheat, you lose your partner’s trust. When you cheat, you lose their respect. When you cheat, you eventually lose them.
So I guess, when you have to do something secretly, when you have to lie about it or when you have to hide it from them because you are afraid that they’ll get mad or so, then maybe, you shouldn’t do it in the first place.
By Zai Saez for ThoughtCatalog