Living with anxiety is hard enough, but dating makes things 10 times worse. Sometimes I just want to raise a white flag and give up on meeting guys altogether. Here are all the ways dating has made my anxiety go from manageable to out of control:
1. I’M CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT EVERY POSSIBLE THING.
Worrying is like second nature to me these days. I even worry in my dreams. Dating someone new brings on a tidal wave of questions: does he like me? Did I ruin our last date? When will he call me again? Seriously, these thoughts are driving me crazy. I just want to be able to relax and feel calm instead of always being high-strung and anxious when it comes to dating.
2. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER MAKES ME MORE ANXIOUS.
You would think that hanging out with a guy I was really into would lessen my anxiety levels, but that’s not the case. Many times, spending QT together only makes things worse. I’m constantly worrying about whether I’m saying the right things, or if I’m annoying him. I can’t even enjoy the moment because I stress myself out with all the BS thoughts running through my head. Someone please make it stop.
3. MY NEEDS COME SECOND.
Dating has turned me into a clone of myself. I’m completely void of any wants or needs. Dealing with anxiety means I go above and beyond to make sure the guy I’m dating is okay. I’d rather bend over backward for someone else’s happiness than to make myself happy instead. I crave this validation that I’m wanted and needed. It’s pretty messed up, right?
4. A MISSED TEXT MAKES ME PANIC.
If a friend forgets to text me back, it’s no big deal, but when it comes to dating and relationships, a mixed text can send me over the edge. Immediately, so many thoughts will run through my head. I’ll wonder if he’s no longer interested, if he’s out with another girl, or worst of all if he’s bleeding somewhere on the side of the road. These thoughts will continue to send me into a downward spiral full of irrational fears that don’t disappear until he finally texts me back. In reality, he was just sitting on the toilet and away from his phone, but in my mind, my anxiety makes me envision the worst case scenarios.
5. I SABOTAGE THINGS BEFORE THEY EVEN GET STARTED.
I know that dating gets me all worked up in the worst way, so sometimes I’ll avoid a relationship by ruining things before my anxiety can wreck havoc. I’ve pushed so many guys away, and although I feel bad, I know that I’m doing them a favor in the long run. Sabotaging a perfectly fine relationship is actually something I’m really good at thanks to my anxious nature.
6. I FEEL LIKE I’M NOT ENOUGH.
I’m always second-guessing myself, and I have a hard time realizing that I’m more than enough for the right guy. It’s always in the back of my mind that the guy I’m seeing will eventually realize that I’m not the right one for him, and this constant threat of being dumped makes things worse for me. It’s like going through a breakup every single day of my life. Yeah, it sucks.
7. I OVERANALYZE WAY TOO MUCH.
I wish I could go more than a few minutes without thinking about my relationship and the guy I’m dating but the truth is, I overanalyze everything way too much. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, I’m an overly-emotional basketcase. I can’t even hide it anymore. It’s completely ruining my life.
8. BEING APART HEIGHTENS THE OBSESSION.
Being on a date makes me crazy, but being away from the one I’m interested in makes me equally as crazy. I just can’t win. As soon as we go our separate ways, the obsession starts to creep in. I can’t even focus on myself because I’m so lost in my thoughts. Any other time, I’m able to manage my stress levels and keep anxiety at bay, but wondering if the feelings are mutual with someone I’m really digging has the ability to knock me off kilter faster than you can even imagine.
9. I CAN’T TRUST ANYONE.
I’m overly suspicious because my anxiety leads me to believe there’s always something wrong even when everything’s perfectly fine. No matter how many times I’m reassured by the one I care about, there’s always these thoughts in the back of my head that try to convince me that he’s lying. If I always feel like I’m not being told the truth then it’s almost impossible for me to trust. And if I can’t trust, well, that just means my anxiety goes from 0 to 100 real quick.
10. MY NEEDINESS RUINS EVERYTHING.
I always need constant reassurance that I’m loved, I’m beautiful, I’m funny, etc. If I’m not showered with these compliments, I turn into a needy bitch. My anxiety pushes me to cling, badger, and act all sorts of crazy when it comes to dating. Even though I know these traits turn guys off, I just can’t seem to stop myself from going off the deep end each and every time.
By Stassi Reid for Bolde