I’m not on a timeline when it comes to my love life. I don’t want to meet just anyone, I want to meet the RIGHT one and I’m not going to compromise on what I want just so I can say I’m in a relationship. After all, what’s the point in dating someone if I know from the beginning that he’s not my person? That’s why I’m holding out for a guy who has these qualities:
1. HE DOESN’T PURPOSELY WAIT TO RESPOND TO MY TEXTS.
A guy who doesn’t play games is the kind of guy I’m waiting for. Waiting days to text back and not responding to missed calls isn’t funny and I don’t get the point. Personally, if a guy waits days to text me back, I’m going to assume he died and then move on to the next one. I want someone who can come correct — text me back (hell, text me first), and make plans to see me in an adult manner.
2. HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS.
I don’t need a guy who has everything planned out, but I want him to at least have a rough outline for how he wants his life to go. Dating someone who doesn’t know what they want in terms of a relationship, career, etc. is annoying. I’m at the point in life where I don’t want to invest time and energy on someone who’s still “figuring things out.”
3. HE ISN’T AFRAID TO BE VULNERABLE.
I’m not an emotional person, but I want my partner to be. He shouldn’t be overly emotional to the point that he’s crying every time we have a fight — that’s too much drama for me — but I do want someone who can express his feelings in a non-passive-aggressive way. If his feelings are hurt by something I did, I’d like him to be mature enough to tell me that.
4. HE HAS A GREAT SENSE OF STYLE.
This one might sound a little shallow, but whatever. I want a guy who has style. I outgrew playing with Barbies a long time ago — I have no interest in telling someone what to and what to wear. I’m not the fashion police and I don’t have a passion for dressing other people. I want the guy I’m dating to be able to throw an outfit together. That being said, I don’t want someone who’s way too concerned about their appearance to the point of being cocky. There has to be a happy medium.
5. HE CAN MAKE TIME FOR WHAT’S IMPORTANT.
I’ve been in a relationship before where I didn’t feel like a priority and I don’t want to feel like that again. I want someone who can make time for things that are important — and yes, one of those things should be me. I’m not saying I should always come first, but I want a guy who has no problem re-arranging his schedule in order to spend time with me. Not always, but sometimes!
6. HE REALLY KNOWS ME (OR REALLY MAKES AN EFFORT TO GET TO KNOW ME).
I don’t want to remind him when my birthday is — he should be able to set a reminder on his phone without being told — and I definitely don’t want to have to tell him what to buy me as a present. If we spend time together, he should know me. He should be able to pick up on what I like and what I hate.
7. HE HAS A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FAMILY.
Family is important to me and I want to be with someone who shares that value. He doesn’t have to hang out with his mom and dad every day, but I want someone who’s close with his parents, especially his mom. A guy who treats his mom well is a guy who was raised to respect women.
8. HE KNOWS HOW TO APOLOGIZE.
A lot of people can’t admit when they’re wrong and I’m sick of dating guys who think they’re too “manly” for apologies. I want a guy who can apologize when he messes up without me having to ask him to do so. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, I want him to be able to say sorry for inadvertently pissing me off and/or hurting my feelings.
9. HE REMEMBERS THE LITTLE THINGS.
I want a guy who pays attention to small things and actually remembers them; someone who knows details about me simply because he was watching is exactly what I’m looking for. However, I also want him to remember small details about both of our families and friends.
10. HE MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON.
I’m going to stay single until I find someone who makes me the best version of myself. I’m not looking for a guy to change me, I’m looking for a guy who’ll inspire me to do things I didn’t even know I wanted to do. I want him to give me a sense of security that’ll make me feel safe enough to tear down my own walls and put myself out there more in every aspect of my life.
By Jordan White for Bolde