She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because she knows that this is a necessary step in creating a new life for herself.
It’s the fear of loss that motivates us to keep on holding on. But does it work? Does it not betray us in the end? How do we go about avoiding loss anyway? Well, to start: you need to learn that attachment is what primarily brings about the pain of loss in the end. Attachment is what leads to detachment – and that’s something that she feels like she has to do with you.
She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because she knows that any form of attachment to you is unhealthy. She understands now that attachment is what keeps on pushing her to pursue the things that only bring toxicity into her life – even though she firmly believes that these are the things that her heart truly desires. She is slowly detaching herself from you because she knows that attachment is what is initiating her destructive behavior and she loves herself too much to just allow her attachment to implode within her. She understands that attachment is always operating out of a place of fear, and she wants to get herself back to safety as soon as possible. She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because she now understands that she never owned you in the first place; nor is she ever going to own anyone other than herself.
She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because she is now maturing. She is now growing to understand that not all things are meant to be permanent. She is now experienced enough to know that just because she’s been given something doesn’t mean that it can never be taken away from her ever again. She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because she doesn’t want to let the fear of losing you control the way that she lives her life from now on.
It has once been said that in order for us to avoid the pain of loss, we should learn to never attach ourselves to anything or to anyone. There is a common example of dipping one’s hand into a pool of water. Once a person removes the hand from the water, there is no trace of the hand in the water anymore. It will be as if the hand never submerged itself in the water at all. They say that the reason why the hand leaves no imprints on the water is because the water never grows to become attached to the hand – and as a result, the water never gets hurt whenever the hand chooses to withdraw itself.
But that’s not true. Once the hand is in the water, the water becomes very much attached to the hand. It slushes around the hand. It embraces the hand. It lies in it. It flows all around it. It’s like when she allowed herself to become completely entranced by you. But when the hand chose to withdraw itself, the water accepted the withdrawal and detached itself immediately. It fully felt and experienced the immersion of the hand, but when it left, they chose to let go.
And that’s what she’s doing to you. She’s letting go. She’s detaching herself from you. Of course, the hand will carry with it some of the water when it leaves. But the water accepts that that is what happens with attachment, and it merely chooses to let go. She accepts that you still carry a piece of her heart, but she is detaching herself from you and the parts of her that you still have with you.
She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because she knows that this is a necessary step in creating a new life for herself. It’s not as if she was never attached to you in the first place; and it’s not like she’s never going to attach herself to anyone new in the future. It’s just that things didn’t work out with the both of you and she knows that that is a fact that she’s going to have to accept and detach herself from. She is slowly learning to detach herself from you because it’s the only thing that she can do to get back to a place of happiness and stability. It’s the only thing that she can do to make herself feel better about the situation.
Don’t take it to mean that you didn’t mean anything to her. Don’t think that she was never attached to her in the first place and that’s why it’s so easy for her to detach herself from you now. That’s not the case. It’s just that she understands that what you had has its place in the past and there’s no point in living there. She has a heart for a future – even though you’re not in it.