I am learning to walk away from the love that hurt me.
That deciding to end something prematurely instead of fighting to the absolute end doesn’t mean that I’m weak. That sometimes I have to think of myself first instead of loving blindly and waiting hopelessly for someone else to. That letting go of someone toxic to me will eventually help me find the happiness I deserve. That the only closure I need is myself for closing this painful chapter of my life.
I do not need to ask or beg for an explanation from someone who is not meant to be in my life. I do not need to answer to anyone except to myself and do what feels right to me. I do not need to care about others’ opinions of me because my priority is my own well being and coping the best way I can.
And if I have to coldly tell you that I cannot be your friend, I will do it. I will delete your number, your old text messages, and all your pictures on my phone. I will put away all the present you gave me, the letters you painstakingly wrote for me and I’ll make sure I remove all traces of you from my life. I’ll tell all my friends about how we ended and to ask them not to mention your name in my presence.
I am learning to accept the finality of goodbye and seeing the beauty in it.
Not everyone is meant to be a key character in my life. There are some who’re merely passerby. Their presences are fleeing and their impacts are minimal. When they leave like how they eventually will, there is no cause for grief or regret.
For they are the lessons that build me to be the strong resilient person I am today. They are the reasons why I believe that fresh beginning comes after the most gut-wrecking loss. They are my past that I’m relieved to be a part of yet knowing they don’t have any power over me.
I’ll remind myself that as wonderful as a person you are, you’re just not the right one for me. I’ll tell myself everyday that I’m doing the right thing because for my new life to begin, I have to let you go. I’ll keep on living and continue to focus on my healing and peace of mind.
I am learning to heal my own broken heart instead of waiting for someone else to save me.
In the pit of despair, in the darkest hour, and on the verge of falling apart, I am learning to hold onto the tiny spark of hope that lies within me to never give up. I am learning to trust in my strength that I am strong enough to survive this heart wrecking loss. I am learning to accept that ultimately at the end of the day, I’m the only one who can pull myself together and heal the hurt that was inflicted upon me.
I am learning to have faith in the higher power and that whatever I’m going through now, there is a reason for it and I’m trusting that I’m going to the place I’m supposed to be. I am learning to be patient and accept that recovery isn’t linear and there are going to be difficult days when I can barely get up to face the day.
I am learning to accept the finality of goodbye and seeing the beauty in it.
Because walking away is the best thing I can do for myself. And slowly day by day, I am starting to see why.
By Liane White for ThoughtCatalog