The very first time I saw you, I thought that we were meant to be.
Cliche as it sounds but that’s how I felt. The moment I laid my eyes on you, I know God answered my prayers.
We both clicked the first time we met. Us being together feels so surreal. I never knew that I would have those butterflies in my stomach again and the excitement every time I see you.
You made me feel like I can love and trust again.
Those sweet exchange of messages, crazy phone calls that made me laugh like there’s no tomorrow, that stolen kiss in my cheek, us holding hands like we’ll never be apart, you hugging me just to assure that my jealousy is pointless and that sudden “I love you,” which made my heart skip a beat. Those memories with you made me think that you are worth the risk.
I was so honest with you that I cannot deny how much I missed you. I knew that the scar from your past relationship made you lose faith in love and that’s why I want to be honest with you as much as possible. But sadly, even my honesty made you drift away from me.
Maybe you really haven’t forgotten about her. She’s still the girl your heart yearns for while I’m just the girl who made you feel happy for a bit after she broke your heart.
I just asked for a little assurance just to make sure we were on the same page, but you gave up just like that because you said that you’re tired of pleasing someone.
You know how afraid I was to entrust my heart to someone. I can’t believe you fooled me, pretending that I was special to you. But I think I was just conceited thinking that way. Or maybe I was too naive thinking that the short time we’ve spent together would fill the void inside your heart.
I’m sorry if I can’t be friends with you, just like what you’ve asked. You see, I can never be friends to someone I want to have a relationship with. It hurts so much that I cannot bear to see you.
Still, I’m happy and thankful that God made me feel those emotions again with you. You coming in my life is a blessing in disguise because I saw how true my friends are to me. They lift me up when I was about to break down. I wouldn’t be this tough if it wasn’t for you, so thank you.
I just want to let you know that, you were once my yes even though I was only your maybe.
By Rikki Louise for ThoughtCatalog