I have been hurt; abused mentally, physically, and verbally. I have been beaten, felt alone, and told nobody. I am a fighter, a survivor. But I think it is time someone hears this story.
I had a friend, and when you’re 14 and interested in someone, there’s this false hope and “puppy love” that interrupts the flowing stream of life as a teenager. Late night talks, meeting in the cafeteria in the mornings. You know, what every teenage couple does in high school?
Well, this friend just got out of a relationship with someone who cheated on her. It was all fun and games when she went for a rebound, “revenge” to the girl who stole her previous man. She found this man who was this girl’s second-time ex. He was quiet, bashful, antisocial. But in her eyes, more importantly, handsome and nice. What turned into revenge became a love like no other. At least, so she thought.
The drama settled down, and she found life in this new relationship. She was already on the verge of suicide and already had her letter written out. But this man opened her eyes to a new view on life and she even started praising to God, only to pray and cry out for mercy later on. In this man, she had seen hope. Never would she have thought that she would only be hurt and experience disappointment.
No one knew. No one could see the bruises she either covered up or the fact that they were where they would be covered up. Stomach, thighs, face sometimes. He even pulled her hair once so she died her hair to match the scab she wanted to be hidden. She only fought back once, he had a black eye. They blamed it on something else so no one could see that there were underlying problems. She only fought back once because in his words that would be the last time she did. No one would see these happenings. Until her friend whom will not be named stepped in to help him off. He was choking her.
Days turned into months, and months turned into years. Only a few though. She thought she would never get away from this relationship. There was no way out, and even though she knew what she was going through wasn’t love, she still felt in love and somehow protected from what she needed protection from. He stole her virginity and proceeded to have sex although she did not. She said no. But of course, a couple dating, you would think saying no to your man or woman is silly. But it’s not. No means no. Even in relationships. Not only her virginity and purity, but he stole her friends as well. In fact, he took away all her friends. She couldn’t do anything without him or he would raise his hand. In a way, no man ever should towards a lady. She was hurt mentally, physically, and verbally. He called her a slut every time she tried to leave. He would use that line, “You won’t find anyone else, you’re not that pretty.
Her friends tried to tell her that she needed to leave him. They could sense something wrong. They always argued and fought in front of people. His friends, her few friends. She never told anyone about the problems underneath or the rape that occurred during the relationship. She only told one person, and that was her therapist. Her therapist knows more than her mother in fact. She just feels like no one would understand her or believe her.
Some people by now are probably asking, “why did she stay?” or stating their opinion of, “she could have left.” But no. She couldn’t have. Not with the threats and his temper. She was in fear. Not only of him but the fact that in her mind, no one likes her. Nobody would love her. She’s not worthy of love. Finally, when she left town to get away he found someone else and left. Was she sad? Yes, of course. She still wanted to be his friend despite everything. Finally, they just quit talking. And she found someone else, too. Someone that would raise his hand only to praise the lord.
Now she prays for this girl. She hopes this girl is treated better. She believes that people can change, but only because she still believes the whole thing was her fault so why would he be the same towards others. But still, she prays.
Now, he didn’t hit her more than three times in the relationship. But his abusive taunts and manipulation, as well as his violent libido, are what really makes this a #MeToo story.
That “friend” was me. And that was my story. Now, will people believe me? Probably not. Did I try taking him to court? Of course. But no proof. And this #MeToo movement is structured around that. The justice system is corrupt. Why did it take me this long to come out? Probably because I was scared. Scared no one would believe me, they would choose sides. They would leave me. But now it’s out. And every word I typed is true. I just hope that someone out there reads this and knows that they are not alone.
They will never be alone. In the Bible (ESV) Jesus has a conversation with this woman in Samaria at the well. Of course, Sunday school goers know this story. But it has so much significance. Jesus offers this woman “living water”. In chapter John verse 13-14, “Jesus said onto her, ‘everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.’” He knew what she had done and been through. But still, he offered. She pleads for this water Jesus spoke of. She pleads in hopes that she will be able to stay hidden and never walk to that well which was a while from her village again. But even so, she would still have to. She was in shame. But in shame, no more.
By Caitie Perry