So here’s the thing about letting go: it is not easy.
It’s difficult. Literally, difficult. And it is painful. So painful that you can feel the bones in your body hurting as well. I am not sure which part of the scientific process inside of the body is responsible for reacting to this pain. But from what I’ve known, it hurts like hell.
And people will tend to look for creative ways to get out from this situation. Continuously.
That’s why I would rather say that letting go is an art. Each of us has a different way to get out from this painful feeling of letting go of something that we are holding on to for quite some time.
We are granted these amazing brains to find a way out of trouble: troubled minds, mixed feelings, anxious hearts. A brain that we can use to cope with all the process. I know it’s hard. I have experienced it myself, how letting go has torn down my soul. I feel like all my hopes, wishes, dreams are being ripped off.
But do you know that specific feeling when you finally let go of something that was holding you back after all this time? Can you feel that specific feeling? Of being free? Living your life to the fullest? And that overwhelming joy you can’t really explain?
You are no longer being bound to anything. Because attachment hurts. Being attached to something you love. Being attached to something you own. Being attached to someone. Man, it hurts like hell.
But once you have learned how to let go, you finally find yourself standing firm in the midst of a strong foundation. It makes you strong. Because you finally realize that you can do something that you thought you could never do before: letting go of something that you used to desperately long to have.
Especially knowing that God is in control. For all the things that happen in this world, He is in control. You know you are in safe Hands. Letting go does not mean that you are giving up. Letting go means that you allow God to take control.
Take a note on the word here: “allow.” You make that decision to give the wheel to God. Imagine you are driving on a straight road in the middle of the desert and you cannot see where the road ends. You don’t know when will you be reaching the destination. But you know that God knows where and when you will be reaching the destination. You don’t have to worry. There are Eyes that are able to see what will come next.
I know. Sometimes the hardest part of letting go is not about how your life will be without it. It’s about how the memories will always stay inside of you. Even after that person or thing is gone, you will never forget about it. Those moments you have seen and experienced, will always be there.
Sometimes those moments will come again, and perhaps you will cry like a baby in the middle of the night, feeling all the pain, or disappointments, or sadness.
But always remember that those dark moments will also bring you a lightness, and when one day those moments unexpectedly visit you, you will softly smile and say: “I am grateful for what has happened to me.”
Those moments have spoken wisdom to you. And you don’t have to forget everything. Because those moments are making you you. Creating the new you. You are molding into someone better, formed to be a stronger individual who is prepared for something that will come to you in the future. It might be good. But it also might be worse. But at least your heart knows that you are ready for whatever comes next.
We are the only one who is responsible for our own life. I learned, and am still learning, to let go. Over and over again. In many aspects of my life. Learning to let go of what once was, to make room for what will be.
While there is a backdrop of sadness in these moments, there’s also the room for more life to come in: more stories to be told, more seasons to be embraced, more adventures to be gone through. And more people who will connect with me. And that’s how life should be. A constant learning process. And this is my lesson: learn how to let go gracefully. Because at the end of it, it is not about between me or whomever or whatever was once in my life. But it is the story of God and myself that makes everything beautiful.
By Irene Sugianto for ThoughtCatalog