Good guys, like good pairs of jeans, can be really hard to find. You might think you’ve found a great pair of skinnies but when you take them home and actually put them on, they look absolutely horrendous. It happens. If you’re disillusioned after one too many bad fits, here’s how you’ll know for sure you’ve found the kind of guy you’ve been looking for.
1. HE ASKS DEEP QUESTIONS AND ACTUALLY WANTS TO KNOW THE ANSWERS.
He wants to get to know you, so he doesn’t just ask you questions about the weather or what your favorite time of year is (that’s something he’ll find out eventually). Instead, he asks you real questions that’ll help him get an idea of who you are deep down. He wants to know what your major in college was, how many siblings you have, what your goals are, etc.
2. HE REFERS TO YOU BY NAME.
This is an important one! If you’ve been dating someone for a while and they’ve started to use pet names for you, that’s not a big deal (as long as you’re okay with the pet names they’re using, of course). But if you’re just getting to know each other and he’s referring to you as “baby” or “sexy,” it might be because he’s dating multiple girls and doesn’t want to chance calling anyone by the wrong name.
3. HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT SEX 24/7.
Once again, if you’ve been dating for a while, go ahead and ignore this, but if you’re in the early stage of your “situationship” and he’s mentioned sex, he’s a POS. Regardless of what he’s said, even if it was a joke! He shouldn’t be sending you nudes or ask how many people you’ve slept with. That’s none of his business at this point in time.
4. HE WANTS TO MEET YOUR PARENTS.
Personally, I don’t think it’s ever too soon to meet the family but some people get easily spooked when Mom and Dad are mentioned. A genuine guy, however, isn’t bothered about meeting your family. Sure, he might not want to do it after the first date but when you eventually invite him over to your parents’ house, he’ll have no problem going. In fact, he’s probably already asked about your family, hasn’t he? It’s his way of gathering information and using it to make sure your family will like him when the time eventually comes.
5. HE KEEPS HIS WORD EVEN WHEN IT’S INCONVENIENT.
He doesn’t just say things for the sake of saying things. If he promises to take you out Friday night, you’d better believe he’s taking you out Friday night. Hell would literally have to freeze over for him to leave you hanging. You know you can rely on him to be there for you because he’s proven that to you already. You trust him and it’s because he doesn’t play games with you.
6. HE CARES ABOUT HOW HE PRESENTS HIMSELF.
He’s not a narcissist or anything but he cares about his appearance. He doesn’t walk around looking like a homeless person even on his days off. He always showers, irons his shirts, and looks presentable even when he’s just lounging around.
7. HE TELLS THE TRUTH EVEN WHEN IT’D BE EASIER TO LIE.
He tells it like it is. He’s upfront with his feelings and you’ve never had to guess (or overanalyze with your friends) anything he’s ever said to you. You two haven’t been together for a very long time but you know you can trust him. He’s just that kind of guy.
8. HE NOTICES SUBTLE THINGS ABOUT YOU.
He’s aware of how much you love chocolate, and he knows what your favorite TV shows are. Not because he’s asked, but because he pays attention to the what you say and do. He notices little things about you, like the way you get quiet when you’re upset, and he knows when to give you space and when to smother you with affection, based off nothing more than your facial expressions.
9. HE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.
You don’t need him to make you feel beautiful or capable of taking on the world but he does it anyway! He believes in you and he’s always showing that. He doesn’t just throw you generic compliments, he compliments you based off what your specific passions are. He knows you and he has no problem building you up when you forget just how amazing you truly are.
By Jordan White for Bolde